Clair de Lune

Ok, I have so many things to say that I'm straining to choose a topic for today. I think I'm going to choose to talk about the impeding Holidays with just a little bit of mockery about the Copenhagen Summit and a huge admiration of yesterday’s performance of the National Cuban Ballet.
So bear with me while I walk you to the extremely hypocritical world of Christmas Eve’s supper.

Disclaimer: This work is just fictional and though you could think it’s based on real people it’s just coincidental. I don’t own the characters, I’m sure you have each one of those at your own home and you hate them just the same as I do. And though this has never happened before I’m sure as hell it could happen this year.

Christmas Eve, a house in a little town, our heroine makes a grand entrance well groomed and dressed, make up beautifully done, to that everyone is not paying any attention so intently that their brows are frowned in deep concentration.

-Okay, this is starting on the wrong foot, she thinks. How’s everyone doing?- she asks

(Silence)(Silence)(Silence)(Silence) (Silence) (Silence) (Silence) (Silence) (Silence)

It’s funny how can you hear a cricket in the middle of nowhere in the freezing cold of December.

So she gets seated beside the member of the family who loves her the most…. No, no, I’m sorry I was wrong, they seat her beside the sister-in-law who always love to say to her: “Are you alright? You seem tired” or my favorite one: “Have you put on some weight?” While the rest of the family scoffs at that. Meanwhile our heroine decides to take off her jacket, since the house is freezing to reveal a very nice but thin dress, while the rest of the family are wearing turtlenecks.

-Don’t you think you’re going to catch a cold with that dress of yours??? Someone asks. At this moment our heroine is already flushed in anger so she has stopped feeling cold.

That’s the moment when the food makes it’s appearance, and obviously the table is full of dead animals. So instead of eating she starts drinking (don’t try this at home on an empty stomach) cursing the moment when she decided that bringing something could be interpreted as her not liking her mother-in-law’s cooking.

Do you really need me to finish the story or would you like me to keep going. My point is almost 90% of the families decide that Xmas is the time of the year for leaving their differences aside. Let me tell you that in most of the cases the only thing they achieve is making their problems worse. Mixing booze and people who hate each other together is so not a good idea!

A piece of advice, if you’ve recently gone vegetarian/vegan bring something to the dinner (or Xmas lunch) unless you want to starve to death. I plan on doing it and damn my mother-in-law (she can’t cook a thing anyway).

Don’t try to impress them, they already hate you, the battle is lost. Their loss

Buy an ebook so you can surreptitiously read under the table while they’re intent on ignoring you. It will make them enormously mad to see that you don’t care if they talk to you or not, which will be extremely funny and rewarding to you.

And work harder this year, so next year you’ll have money enough to disappear on Holidays. While you’re at it choose a warmer country so you can go to the beach instead of freezing to death.

Finally, and if nothing of this works, just recite a poem (a very long one) in your head or try to remember every movement of Debussy’s Claire de Lune, so you can muffle the hurting words they’re spatting at you (for me it works wonders).

I hope I am of some assistance there, I live you with “Claire de Lune”

Clair de lune from musanim on Vimeo.