Speak In Tongues

So it goes like this, yesterday I learned form twitter that Placebo were doing an unplugged show for a radio station in france, it was going to be streamed live in their web page. I emailed the page to my husband in order for him to have everything ready so I could watch Brian Molko and pals when I arrived home.

My husband, who loves me very much (though he has strange ways to show it) had everything ready, when I opened the door I could hear the supporting act Expatriate (they do sound nice) playing and the supper was on the table (mushroom and onion quiche, mmmm!!!). So we were having a very nice evening, but this is not the point today. The point is that whilst I was changing into my pj's I heard something that mesmerized me. I heard Brian Molko speaking french (which is not strange at all since he was born in Belgium and studied in Luxembourg for some time). He really speaked very good french, and I started ranting about how inteligent he must be to know so many languages and to be able to speak them so well. Then I started digressing how I think in our country (Spain) childs aren't encouraged enough to learn languages, most of the kids aren't able to say a sentence in English. A few rants later I realize my husband is looking at me quite strange, so I stopped talking and ask him what was funny about what I was saying. Then he smiles and tells me: "Honey, you speak three languages" and proceeds to explain to me that it is really entertaining seeing me so fired up about things that I even forget who I am.
Well, this is who I am, the girl who can be hipnotized by something and speak with envy and admiration about a thing she can do as well. For I can speak three languages (Spanish, French and English), and that is the fact about me I'm most proud of because I love being able to comunicate with whoever I choose too, and I really believe that all the troubles in this world would end if we could just comunicate with one another. And how great it is traveling to other countries and being able to ask for a Coke?, and how marvelous it is that you're following this blog just because I can write (not so good) in English and you're able to understand it, eventhough one of us is not from England or USA?

So I'm really proud to say that I'm an intelligent person because I know how important is in this world being able to express your feeling and beliefs.

Although I'm now thinking that Mr. Ungrateful (my dear brother-in-law) is getting married tomorrow to Mrs. German Bitch, the wedding is to take place in Germany and I don't know a word in German, well at least I know how to count to eleven and I know how to order water so, Germany here I come, I hope you guys speak English!!!

Disordes and Dissaray

Alhtough I'm using a Rancid song today, I have to say that the post doesn't relate to it. It's just that it popped into my mind while I was thinking about my junk drawer. It's the place where I put all kinds of stuff, mostly stuff that's in my hands when I get home.

So I have a pack of tissues in my hand it goes into the drawer, the same with my ipod skins or the phone chargers, nds chargers, postals, letters, all of the bills (phone, electricity, water), pencils, pens, jewellery, I even found a sock once.

Every once in a while my husband and I clean all the mess (usually because we are trying to find sonething important), I swear to you is the funniest day of the month. Well, sometimes we just don't find what we're looking for because as you know every house is inhabited by little goblins whose only job is to make dissapear the things you need the most. What really spooks me is somethings just don't reappear.

So I was wondering if there's a spare closet, or a drawer in your house like mine. I think this could be a great thing to unite all humanity, I'm almost positive that leaving aside age differences, religions or countries everyone has one of these. I'm willing to postulate that the drawers are interconnected and what's lost in mine can be found in yours. Whichs gets me to the end of my post with a thought for you, How can we be always fighting if in the end of the day we are mostly the same? Forget the petty rivalries and next time you judge another culture or religion or another person for being "different" (I haven't already grasped what this concept means) just go to your spare closet and look at your mess and think that maybe the person you're judging has just one like yours.
I don't know if I have explained myself well, but for those who cannot grasp the intricacies of my mind just know that I find metaphors in the strangest places. Just keep reading me and you'll find more surrealistic ones.

Aspirin Damage

I'm going to be very brief today. I'll start telling you that todays song is from Alice Cooper and that I have a terrible headache (more like a migraine).

I have these migraines since I was very young, my husband says that it's my fault because I think too much (sometimes I have to agree with him). So you'll think that in 30 years they would have discovered something to cure me. No,no! I continue suffering these, what's worse is that I cannot take any kind of medication because they make me fall asleep and I have to work and drive and everything. So today is going to be a bad day and I'm going to be in a foul mood and it's really a shame because the sun shines, and it's really beautiful and the only thing I can think about is switching off the sun.

Vampire day today, the sun is really bad for me. See you tomorrow guys, I'm going to crawl back into my hole.

Can't buy me love

Today I shall not teach you, I guess anyone can recognize The Beatles song.

It all started when my mom gave birth to me, she never wanted me (she made a show of reminding me all my life) nor loved me. She sent me to live with my grandparents and come to collect me when she tought se had found a nice husband (that's a story for another time). When I came to live with them I quickly falled into their pace. For them you are the money you have. The more the money the better person you are. I was to young to realize that every time my mother made a mistake towards me in order to be forgiven she just went to the stores to buy me a present. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the present. It's been eleven years since I left home and we still play this game. It cost me years to realize that what I really wanted was an apology, and for that I continue to hate my mom.

All this has transpired into my actual life, my husband is currently unemployed, and that is affecting our lives because he thinks he is not enough man for me if he can't buy me presents. I don't want any presents, I just want love and friendship. I guess it's all my fault because my husband has learned from my family dinamics, I have always left my mum bribe me, because I tought that by accepting her gifts at least I had some kind of compensation for the hurt se subjected me to.

Wel I can see now that I was sorely mistaken, that all her gifts have made me a bitter woman. As I want to be happy again I'm going to say no the next time she gaves me a gift and ask for the apologies I deserve. Since I really want to be happy I'm going to tell my husband that I love him no matter what and that I don't need a man who supports me, I need one that loves me.
What I really want to say is that I finally see the evil ways of consumerism (you can call it capitalism too), I don't need things to be happy, I need friends and people. It's a nonsense working 10 hours a day just to have enough money to buy more expensive things so everyone can see how marvelous you are. Money doesn't define who we are, it's more important our integrity. If you have enough to live on why neglect your family to have more, don't you see that we are a really greedy society? Don't you see that this is going to bring us to extinction?

So mum, you can shove up you ass your fucking presents, I don't need them anymore. You can't bribe me anymore, it's not my fault if you're shallow, and it's not my fault if you weren't prepared to be a mom.

Ok, I feel better now.

Drive

And today song is brought to us by the always great Incubus (go and check them out, they're awesome).
So I'm going to tell you a story. A few days ago I received a call from a friend and when she started talking I knew, I just knew that she was going to tell me that she was pregnant. I was so happy for her because I knew her husband and her were really excited about being parents. I also was very proud because I was the first person she told, of course then I realized that since she knows I'm going to be the aunty Mrs. Bitter she might want to ingratiate herself with me in case she needed a nanny (I'm not putting myself down, that's just the way she is but I love her just like that).
It's official now, all my female friends are pregnant or about to deliver (even Mrs. German Bitch my future sister-in-law). I'm really happy for every one of them, what bugs me is that this gets me into the spotlight. You see, I'm 30 years old and my husband and I have decided to not have children. It's like announcing being vegetarian all over again, everyone wants an explanation. There are tons of them but what in the hell gives them the right to pose those questions to me.
This is what the post is about, about having the freedom to choose what we want to do with our lives. Whether it's having children, or studying or wanting to spend the day watching birds in the park.
People like to meddle in other peoples affairs, I can understand that (it does not mean I accept it), but it really is innocent until one of you decission strays from what it is socially acceptable. So life should go on like this, you are born, you grow up, you go to college, you meet a nice man (or woman), you get married, you have children and so on. Nobody asks you if you want to be a mother, you're just supposed to. And there's always your "lovely" (insert sarcasm here) mother-in-law who tells you that the instinct will come. Well I have to say that sometimes the instinct to kill her comes but I try to refrain myself (though maybe one day you shall see me in the news).
What I'm trying to defend here is that I (and that means you too) have the right to decide what I want to do, and you are nobody to demand any explanations, I will return the courtesy.
We just have to take the wheel of our lives and do what we really want to, this is the only way we can be happy. That means being courageous enough to stray from the path that they have laid for you. Not everyone wants to be a lawyer, and an engineer is no better than a maid in my eyes. What makes you a good person is who you are, not what you study, who you marry and how many children you have. What makes you a good person is being capable of doing an informed decission, carefully weighing the pros and cons (this makes you inteligent too, not your degree in politics).
So I don't want to have children, and I don't eat animals, I don't like to judge before I know someone and I hate when somebody wants to decide for me. If that means that in the eyes of the majority I'm a bad person then I'm really proud of it.
Would you dare being different from the rest? I dare you to at least try it, it really is fulfilling.
I hope you have a nice weekend.

Beauty

You may think that the title of this post is quite generic, I'm going to educate you a little. You know that most of the titles of this blog are songs or are related to the songs themselves (it depends on the day). Beauty is a song from a Swedish Hardcore punk band named Refused, like most of the bands that I love they broke up , some of them died (I will never forgive Kurt Cobain) and some of them... I am digressing again.
Onto the topic again, french fashion magazine Elle launched this campaign against photoshop and did this amazing photo shoot of several celebritys without any make up. I got to say that I love this kind of initiatives because I truly believe that beauty is in the inside (i know it sounds clichéd). What makes a good actress is not the size of her clothes or the amount of makeup she's wearing; what makes a good model is the way she behaves in front of a camera.
What scares me to death is that this is only a passing thing, tomorrow you will see the same actress or top model after losing 10 kg (I'm sorry I'm european just commit to the international sistem once and for all) just to get this role or that show. Because we are hypocrites, we truly want to be like them so we spend inordinate amounts of money in beauty treatments, clothes and trinkets to look different from what we are because the truth is we are scared to be alone, and since very little women are taught that the beautiful princess will be saved by her knight in shining armor.
Sometimes we forget that it is more important to have a nice smile than a nice purse, we are unable to see that the girl who's wearing a bigger size than you is also a human being that has the same fears and hopes than you. We can't seem to reconcile ourselves with the fact that having bigger breast is not going to solve all our problems. We assume that being beautiful makes us better than the rest.
We are mistaken, the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder (another cliché) it's in the person's acts. Be kind, be honest, be respectful with all living beings.
I'm not deluding myself, I'm the first that tries to look beautiful and I spent my half an hour every morning applying my make up and straightening my hair, I'm the one who loves going shopping. But I'm also the one who has fallen in love countless times and ignored the sex, the weight, the height. I only want people who loves for who I really am so I want to love you for who you are, even if your fat.
I'm not making an apology to slackness, it really is important to be a clean and respectful person, it will not do to go out in the world with filthy clothes and without having showered for two days, but is it really necessary to spend 3 hours every morning in the gym if you aren't a sporstman? ( Ok, i know there are people who need to be very fit for their work). Most people are just obssessed with their image, guess what? When you dies it all fades away.

P.S.- I don't know if I have mentioned that English is not my first language (hell, it is not even my second language) so please excuse me if in the heat of the moment I misspell something. And thak you if you're reading this.

False Memory

Last night I arrived home at 2.00pm and I was very tired but I couldn't close my eyes, so I started counting books (yeah I know other people count sheeps but books are more fun if you have a library like mine), so it was the turn of Dean Koontz' books. I was trying to remember each book I own from him (titles and if they were paperback or hardback) when my memory stumbled in a title that got me thinking about mind control. If you haven't read the book I advise you to stop reading tough I'm not going to do spoilers per se when I start rambling about the topic I'm going to spoil it for you, anyway you're advised now do as you please.
I read the book like 7 seven years ago or so; the first thing that caught my attention is how easy the human being could be manipulated. How many people do you know that have a phobia that needs shrink treatment? Probably a ton, and how easy would be for said shrink if he were to hipnotize you to put some strange ideas in your mind? Well I guess I'm being pretty paranoid but just humour me.
And what about commercials, every time I see one on the tv it frustrates me to no end the impression I get that publicists think that human population is stupid, but don't this advertisings work for the majority of said population? Aren't they telling us what to do, were to eat, what to wear? Do they really believe I think the cows from the MacDonald commercial are happily gallivanting in the countryside before they serve it to us (that has nothing to do with me being a vegetarian).
As scary as it would be that my shrink (I really don't have one but for the sake of this argument I'm going to invent one), poked in my subconcious and ordered me to kill someone that would be an isolated incident, what it is really scary (at least in my point of view) is the manipulation that we are subjected by mass media, isn't it another kind of mind control?

Random musings

No song title today for this blog (unless some group that I don't know has a song titled random musings). But you can rest assured you're going to find a lot of randomness in here.
I'm going to try and explain what goes in my head this morning, since yesterday mi ipod (well, the one I have on my workplace) was on shuffle, so it kept regurgitating strange songs in the most inopportune moments. I think the peek of last week was when I was testing this old woman's eyes, suddenly I could hear very clear and very loud Pearl Jam's Spin The Black Circle, I swear the lady jumped from the seat an proceeded to look at me like I was an alien or a criminal (or maybe both). You see, since my work is kind of sanitary I have to look very mature and professional and confident, so they're used to see me in my uniform, with a perfect hairdo and some nice music in the background. It pains me to admit that I sucumb to the sistem every time I put music on the shop(I'm very ashamed to say that I even have Coldplay's discography in my ipod). I decided this morning to rebel, from now on I'm only playing the music that I love, and I don't mind if I shock the occasional octogenarian.
All of this is my roundabout way of saying that I hate that we still live in a society that likes to judge people by their appearance, the music they like, what they eat (it looks like being vegetarian/vegan is a crime of some sort) or who you associate with. Well, I'm done following the stupid rules of my archaic country. Tatoo parlor, here I come.
What's really depressing is that it took me 30 years to finally shake myself from my state of acceptance to this one of rebellion, I think I was to busy being thrown out of my mothers house and struggling to eat and to finish my studies and all.
I'm going to warn you, beware if you want to buy a pair of shades, glasses for reading or contact lenses if you come to Spain and you ever come into my shop be sure that you're going to hear some Heavy music.
To all of the bands that love to yell when they sing, thank you and keep on doing that nice job, to the ones that don't yell (or failed to do it in their last album, AFI you know I'm talking about you) I love you anyways, to music in general you make my day.
That's one of the many talents of music, it can make you revolt against the sistem!!!!!!

I'm not okay

I don't undestrand how is possible to catch a cold with the easiness that I do. Open a window in the vicinity and my nose is running, it doesn't matter how many vitamin suplements I take or how much I cover myself I always end up running a fever.
So today, I have a lot of work and I'm feeling under the weather, what's worse is that my cold isn't going to stop the salesman of the world or the customers and I have to put on my brave face and pretend that everything is fine when I really want to be in my bed sleeping.
When you work for others you can call in sick, but when it's your own bussiness you have to do little sacrifices like this, it would be more worth it if the customers wanted to buy, but they seem to just want to waste my time. It really is exasperating, I know there is a world recession and all but do you really think we give away glasses and contact lenses?
Anyway I think I'm going to say bye for the day since it is clear that I don't have anything interesting to say. See you tomorrow, I hopefully have my nerve cells working and then I could maybe tell you something worth reading.
BYE!!!!

The Book I Read

I was listening to the Talking Heads song in the car and I decided today I wanted to write about books.
One of my first memories (or at least the most cherished one) is of me learning to read, I was 4, and nobody at home could believe I was reading, they just tought I had memorized the book that my great-grandmother read me every night. So I went in search of the newspaper and started reading the headlines. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me dumbfounded.
So I guess this makes me a bookworm (and a very proud one!). Since then I read every day. I guess what I love is the magic of imagining other lives, other places. I love all kinds of books, so I hate it when peoplo tend to categorize them. Why can't I read a book if they say to me that it is for young adults or children or whatever.
My first horror book was Stephen Kings' Salem's Lot, I can vividly recall being reading underneath the blankets ( a little cliched, I know) with a flashlight because I had to finish it (and being to afraid to sleep for 2 days).
I have tons of books, I pretty much read everything that picks my attention, chick lit, the classics (Jane Austen, the Brönte sisters, shakespeare, Yeats, etc...); horrosr books, thrillers, science-fiction, everything!
Every book tells a different story, in wich you are the protagonist. For a moment you can forget all your worries and just have a good time.
Reading stimulates your vocabulary and makes you more discerning, it urges you to think about the world that surrounds you.
So please, next time you go to a library just spend some time browsing the shelves and buy something, I can assure it would be the best money spend in your life.
Read, if you do that instead of watching reality shows, maybe just maybe, you won't fall in the web of mass media and you'll think for yourself instead of repeating what they want you to. Be independent, be free.

The Devil In The Details

Today I'm not going to complain about anything, I was considering talking about religions but I'm not in the mood for phylosophical debate today. I'm more into laughing about myself so I'm going to tell about the stupid things that I do every day that I'm sure makes everyone nervous.
So I like music very loud, like insanely loud, above all when I'm driving.
I have to be prefect before I leave home everyday, so when I go to bed the night before I spend half an hour thinking what I'm wearing the morrow.
I hate when people are unpolite (how difficult can it be saying "Good Morning"?).
I cannot stand the stains (in clothing or in other places) I have to clean them inmediately.
I hate when people read my magazines before I do (altough there are exceptions to that rule).
I have to learn every lyric of every band that I like, since I love music this can get pretty difficult (but I have to try, and then I get frustrated when I can remember them).
If I start reading a book which is part of a series I have to own all of them (really bad for my economy).
I'm obssessed with bags and shoes (again real bad for my economy).
I love cold weather ( tough everyone thinks is the contrary).
When I love something I can be very obsessive (I'm talking Harry Potter here).
And I'm sure there are tons of things that now I can't recall.
Are you just like me? Does it piss you off when someone does one of the things that you hate in front of you? In Spain we ahve a saying that translates roughly into "Doctors can't cure obsessions".
Have a nice day

Try Walking In My Shoes

I think one of the most important problems that the world has to face nowadays is the need for instant gratification. At some point people stopped thinking about each other and started to care more about achieving their own goals.
I think this loss of empathy is really troubling; I know I'm going to sound like a Self-Help book but I think that a good philosophy of life would be "Treat people as you wish to be treated", at least is what I do. I try, before taking any decision to evaluate how my actions influence the people that surrounds me. I'm not saying that sometimes I fail to take the right (or less harmful) decission, but a least I weigh the options.
One of the causes of this selfish tendencies can be found on the internet, today with the net everything is inmediate, wether you want to hear a song, read a book or watch pictures of your favorite movie star. Since so many of us pass a big amount of time surfing the net it occurs that you get used to this feeling of immediateness. That translates into real life as frustration when you can't obtain whatever you're fixated on. So it is then when you would try anything to get your gratification and then you're so egoist you don't stop until you get what you want, no matter who gets in your way.
I guess if politicians tried this empathy thing once in while the world wouldn't be that f****ed up; but how ca we demand them to do things we are not able to do for ourselves?
So I leave you to meditate this, would empathy save our world? I'm pretty sure it would, what do you think about that?
So as Dave Gahan said in the song thah gives title to this post "Try walking in my shoes" and maybe, just maybe you'll understand what it is to feel like I do.

R_E_S_P_E_C_T

After this little recess of work I was supposed to come back with renewed forces. But I really am exhausted. Life can be very trying sometimes and I need your advice in something; so I'm going to tell you what happened and if you readers leave your peace of advice I'll be very grateful.
I finally decided, after much consideration and years of stalling to go vegetarian, this caused me a lot of trouble with my friends and family, first my husband was horrified (he is as carnivore as a lion), then one friend told me to be careful with my health (as if I were anorexic instead of vegetarian or something), then my grandpa ask me if I were to live of thin air...
Anyway, this weekend, since we were having holiday we were supossed to go to lunch to my grandpa on Friday and to my mother-in-law on Sunday.
I was terrified because my grandpa is a very judgmental person (tough he is 84 years old and I think this comes with age) and all the way to his house I was imagining peaces of meat or fish disguised between the meal; nothing of that happened, he was very understanding and made me one of my favorite meals (vegetable paella).
And then the disaster occured, Sunday came and we went to my Mother-in-law. Every plate that was in the table was made with something I wouldn't eat, there was the tuna and the ham in the salad, the squid in the main course, etc.
When we went home I was flabbergasted with my in-laws, and my husband told me that I could not pretend that everyone changed their cooking for me, and if I didn't like that his mother cooked with meat next time I should stay at home. That was the moment when I dissintegrated, if the same thing had happende to him I would have killed my mother and defended him and proceed to storm the house in fury.
I just think that I deserve some respect, making something for lunch that I can't or won't eat it is not respecting me, it is scorning me and after all this years I don't think I deserve their scorn.
I'm goin to try to forget, but I can say to you that next time there is a meal at my husband's parents is going to be the same thing all over again, and why can't he support me for once?
I will like very much to hear your oppinions on the subject, what will you do in my place? do you think I'm overdoing it?Is it really that wrong to be different?

Won't Get Fooled Again

It feels like Friday, tomorrow I don't have to work. My week was pretty much crappy but since yesterday two nice things have happened. The first one you already know it, my Crash Love came yesterday by post, I cannot stop hearing it, sooooo in love with Beautiful Thieves. The second is I received a very nice flower bouquet from a dear friend I'm going to call from now on "Mr. Cute engineer" (since he indeed is cute and also an engineer).

Well If you thought I was done complaining because my week turn out to be quite nice you're painfully wrong, because when everything was going fine I watched CSI Miami's Monday episode.

First and foremost you have to know that I love crime and medical shows and that I download them every week because I don't have the patience to wait until they're premiered in Spain (several months later)

Secondly I always had this hate-love relationship with Horatio Caine and his crew, I can say that this is my less favourite CSI show.

Now I'm going to explain the reasons why I'm going to abandon them on the sunny beaches of Miami forever. The episode was titled Bolt Action and of course there was a murder, in this case a triple murder, three volleyball players are killed during a match in a fundraiser organized by what they call in the show a Cougar (you know, ladies who date younger men). Okay now I advise you, if you have not seen the episode BIG SPOILER coming. So the murderous bastard was the cougar's husband (traitorous son of a b******, that though he was f**** girls half his age he couldn't stand that his wife was doing the same). So what was the method of assasination that he used? You're probably wondering, here it comes I advise you to sit because it is such a shocker: Death by lightning. tadaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

He staged a complicated scenario with a golf club on a baywatch tower on the beach, then he buried an electrical wire in the sand and finally (but not least important) he sprinkled the sand in the court with some kind of copper oxyde (blue cristals). He then proceeded to go to his boat with a younger lady friend and waited until the bolt striked in a perfect blue sky . Suffice to say that "Mr. Playing with my Silhouette shades Caine" found the culprit of this crime.

I don´t know if you see the absurdity of the crime but I think that the screenwritters of CSI have lost their minds (maybe they have been replaced with Lost screenwritters).

But that is not all, because my friends, the exploited Calleigh-Delko arc is on again; now we broke up, now we're together. I cannot stand this anymore they're like adolescents on and off again it's starting to stink.

I have decide to quit watching the show, although my husband tells me that we have to give them another oportunity the truth is I have been giving them oportunities since the first season and now I'm just fed up with them; so bye Horatio, I'm not going to miss how you play with your glasses and always have the last word; you kind of get on my nerves, if you were a real character you would be bullied in work and called an insufferable know-it-all.

Note from Mrs Bitter: This are only mi personnal opinions on the show, I respect that you might not agree with me.

Tales Of A Scorched Earth

Anyone who has listened to this song from the Smashing Pumpkins can imagine what I'm going to talk about (If you never heard this song before I encourage to check it out, I love the Smashing Pumpkins); yes, I'm sure you'll say that I'm ancient or something but kids I can promise you that Tokyo Hotel is not the best rock you will ever hear, check back the "oldies" (sigh! I guess I'm an oldie too!).

I think I'm talking nonsense, and that is the result of my boredom. Every day is the exact same thing, waking up, coming to work, going home to have lunch, returning to work and then going home, dine, sleep, and repeat again until bored. It feels as if I'm trapped in the movie Groundhog Day ( a very funny movie) except I can never figure out what I'm doing wrong (and I'm not half as funny as Mr. Murray, quite the opposite in fact).

I'm here waiting, waiting for something life changing, for an adventure, a dream coming true. I would love to leave everything behind and travel, I really don't need that much money to live (I don't think anybody needs, but as we live in capitalism...). I would love to do some humanitarian work, I can see myself with my backpack and my camera. I can imagine myself changing the world, but the scary truth is that I'm terrified.

I believe the problems in the world would solve if we weren't such cowards ( and I, of course; include myself as number 1 coward of the month) if we we're brave enough to try and change the things we don't like, if we wouldn't care so much about what people think about us.

Meanwhile I reamin here dreaming but not enable to escape my life, lost and waiting to be found, to be heard and I'd die just to feel.

Maybe you're just like me, or maybe you're just content in your life. I dare you to try and change anything, I, at least, I'm going to practice what I preach. I will tell you how it goes.

Is that the post? Is it my AFI cd what she is carrying in her hands? Yes!! in a scale from one to ten, how lame is my week that this could be considered the highlight of it?

Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Panem Et Circenses

This morning, watching the news while I was having breakfast, it ocurred to me that we (as in humanity) cannot avoid but falling in endless patterns.

In order to explain myself I must first explain the title to this post. For those who don´t know the expression "Panem Et Circenses" literally means "bread and circuses" it goes back to the Roman Empire and it is used nowadays as a peyorative phrase to describe Governments that in order to keep population calm or to hide controversial facts, provide the mass with low quality entertainment (if you want more information on the history background I encourage you to google it).

So, as I was saying, I was watching the morning news and while I was sipping my orange juice there was this newsreader talking about the latest developments in our Soccer League (because half of the news talk about sports). It was then that I started flipping channels and in every one of them they were talking soccer, what a misfortune!

In times like these, times of great global depression, times of war, times of famine in third world countries how can we be so naive as to fall in those petty manipulations.

What's even more disgraceful is the use that politicians make about topics, that shouldn't be taken as frivolous, as the Global Meltdown, or the swine flu or Ahmadineyad stash of nuclear weapons. It kind of reminds me when Bush was trying to find weapons of mass destruction in Irak, and all the while they we're planning how to rob them of their oil. And all of this for the sake of Democratizing the country (Just like Columbus trying to convert the pagans to christianism).

But we are to happy to know how much Cristiano Ronaldo cost to a soccer club, and to read the latest column of gossip about Paris Hilton: Some will say that this things make the life more bearable, but in my humble opinion the truth is that they weaken us. How can we hope to make a better world if we don't involve ourselves in the world that surrounds us.

I'm finishing with the lyrics of one of my favorites bands; "I fell I have been abandoned. I alone seem to see disgrace as I watch these mad dogmatics govern our entire race." (Sacrilege. AFI, Crash Love).

Sweet Dreams

Sometimes it occurs to me that I'm happier when I'm dreaming, the problem is often my nicest dreams are when daydreaming, that causes many many problems since I have the strange power to start daydreaming in the oddest moments (like driving or buying groceries). Anything can induce those silly little dreams but most of them are song related. And that is the power of music for me it makes me dream, and sends me to my special place. You must think in these things I'm always the heroine, the beautiful one, with a perfect life and a nice smile, the perfect home and all that s****. What is most strange is I prefer to dream about misfortunes; what it would be like to have nothing? to be hated?secluded from the world? And yet I really am happy when daydreaming, that makes me kind of strange uhh?

Of course if you knew me you would know that these daydreams could be defined mostly as memories. Memories of worst times, when I was alone against the world; when I would pass a day eating only a bag of chips, when I was thrown out of my house for being to sincere for my moms taste, when I was going out with a guy who didn't want me to have any friends, etc...

So for me daydreamig is a bittersweet experience since it brings back all my past horrors though it reminds me how fortunate I am now.

So I take solace in my nightly dreams, when I really am asleep, there nobody can hurt me and I can be anyone I want to; in my dreams I can sing and dance all night. I can be a man, a woman a child. I can be tall, I can be small. I can love, I can hate. I can be famous or a nobody, I can cure cancer or aids; but mostly I can really be happy,because I know when I wake up I still would be loved and have a place in this world.

Next time you daydream remember me for I probably would be doing the same thing.

Next time you fall asleep and dream, dream about me for I would be dreaming about you.

Through our dreams we are one, and one we must remain until the end of times.

On A Friday

Today is the day where I leave my caustic remarks about life in general to tell you about one of my pasions. Manga, Anime and everything that relates to Japanese culture.

It all started when I was 17, and this cute, nice shop opened where I lived back then. We used to go every Saturday to buy comics, then we get together in one of my friends garage and read our purchases and do a little of roleplay. Since then I'm hooked on Manga. My favorites are Josei(aka redikomi), wich is dedicated to adult women and revolves around women, their goals in life, love, etc. I also love shôjo, this one usually revolves around romance; and then I also love Yaoi; this one is maybe the most controversial (at least here in my country) because it's female oriented, usually written by female mangakas (which means cartoonist) and it depicts homoerotic or homoromantic relationships, this genre is also know as Boy's Love (or BL). Well as you can image it is really easy to infer that since I'm into Yaoi I'm into slash Fanfiction (so please no flames here,since I try to respect everyone I would like the same courtesy).

You must be asking yourselves why I'm doing this class about manga today; well there's this thing this weekend that's called Salón Del Manga Valencia ( aka Manga Convention), it really is tiny but is very nearby so, of course, we're going.

It's going to be so much fun I can hardly wait, they'll have plenty of activities and there's going to be cosplay (costume roleplay) which I dearly love to see and in which I long to participate every year but I'm to busy (ok you caught me, I'm to lazy) to make myself a costume.

I'm going to enjoy especially the Lolita in Wonderland stand (check them here), and the stand of an Spanish author who does Yaoi among other things(check her work in here), this last one I dicovered her in the past edition of this show (6 months ago), since then I'm a big fan.

I'm going to try and take some pictures and post them on Monday.

Here comes the weekend!! and I couldn't be more excited, though mi Crash Love is not here yet(sniff!!).

See you on Monday! And Ihope you have a nice weekend too!

Flash Flash, Car Crash

So I'm having trouble sleeping.
Yesterday was my third wedding anniversary and my husband (I love to call him my Uruk hai) took me (under death threat) to a vegetarian restaurant downtown Valencia (which by the way looks like hell come to earth because the main streets are being repared with European money I assume); anyways when we came home I was so buzzed it was nearly impossible to sleep. When I finally fell into slumber I was rouhgly waken up by my dog snoring (did I mention that we have two dogs?). So out of despair I just went to the living room to watch some tv (crappy tv by the way). Anyway, I'm talking nonsense; I just wanted you to fell half as exhausted as I was when I finally hopped into my car and start to make my way to my place of work.

So I was listening to Crash Love (no,no, it's not here yet, I finally cracked and downloaded it to make the waiting bearable) and when I was halfway trough the route, screccccccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhh every one stopping. And then the time starts to pass, 3 spins of the cd later I realise people are start to looking at me as I sing along with the music (as if I was Davey Havok myself), then I decide to change to Placebo (ahhhh, my ashtray heart), 2 spins later I decide going out of the car to see what the f*** is going on (I think swaping to Placebo was not a good idea because apart from singing I started dancing too, receiving weirder looks if that is even possible).
Back on track, there´s this nice (first one for me) Guardia Civil (wich is some kind of Police force who depends from the military) that explains to me that there has been an accident and the route is closed and then we start talking about how strange people behave when they see an accident on the highway, a while later he receives a call and he tells me that the route has been reopened and I hop into my car.
Since then I'm just trying to understand what is that makes people so fascinated with death, when we passed the site of the crash everyone started to slow down to see the ambulances and the body in the street. Are we so depraved that we cannot look away and let people be even in the momet of their own deaths? What necessity do we have to look at the blood on the asphalt, is that disease who drags us to see to the movies to see films like Saw and watch reality shows that degrade the human being?
And when you start to think about that you begin to understand that the world we live in doesn't know a single thing about compassion; so we keep on eting animals and abandoning dogs come holidays, children continue to suffer abuse fron their loved ones (sigh) and we keep on with our lives until one day tragedy comes knocking to our door.
Well my friends, start trying to change the world a bit every day, start thinking about your actions and the repercussions they have in the world and how they make feel the others, stop reading this blog and go help your neighbour unload his groceries. Make something, anything! If everyone starts doing small things maybe the world may change a little, and maybe then I could sleep one entire night without waking in despair.

Love you all!

P:S:- my dear Mr. Postman I'm still waiting for you