Thursday, December 24, 2009

Feliz Falsedad


Esto es todo lo que tengo que decir al respecto. Ok, soy maybe you won't understand the lyrics, this is one of my favourite Xmas songs although is not so festive.
Now I'm grieving the fact that many people in the world will have nothing to eat on Xmas eve (or any other day FYI) so see you another day!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Empty Walls



What would you do in case of another world war? Do you think you would have the guts to survive? I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t, I don’t think I could kill a human being even if my life (or those of my cherished ones) was on the line. Hell I can’t even kill a cockroach and I’m practically terrified of them ( so bad that I live in a hot climate and they’re like a plague).


Okay, maybe today I sound a little off but I have this thought invading my mind all of the time now. It’s just that every time I see the news I wonder how much time is going to pass before we send everything to hell and start World War 3 (doesn’t it sound like the name of a video game?). What scares me the most is the possibility of Bacteriological war, I imagine world population being infected by some shitty virus turning us into big hungry zombies (okay I watch to many Zombie movies), just in case I have near me at all times my Zombie Survival Guide in flash cards (thanks to Max Brooks and Mr. Cute Engineer for providing me with this).

By now you must think I completely lost it, bust just try to imagine. If, by any chance, we manage to not kill ourselves, wouldn’t it be possible that Mother Nature tried to take revenge for all the abuse we put her through? I’m happy to say that most likely I would survive that, not because I’m respectful (that I am) but because Roland Emmerich tend to save most countries with warmer climates (it's a shame taht for maybe half the population of the world the irony is clearly lost), and a guy who makes is living with disaster movies can’t be wrong.

And what if the animals where the ones to rebel against the human being? Would dolphins leave the sea just to torture us? (yeah,yeah I’m a fan of The Simpsons too).

Don’t even get me started on computers, because I’ve seen The Matrix too (all three of them, I think they should have stopped with the first).

It’s clear enough for those reading that I’m into science fiction, that I love horror movies and books and that I’m a huge fan of The Simpsons, well that was not the point. What I hope reaches your heads is that all of this things could really happen (well maybe except for the dolphins) and it’s really time to take action. Maybe a good course of action (though a little bit paranoid) would be start buying land and start building bunkers, amass all the food and water you can and just wait for the end of times!!. Well I’m sure I will not see it but one way or another it’s going to happen.

This is reason number two for me not wanting kids, what a fucked up world we are going to leave them . You wan to hear reason one? Well, maybe another day.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Be yourself



I was really going with a vampirism theme today but something I read made me change the topic for today. You’ll have to wait on my random musings about vampires in literature, I promise to do it another day though.


We (as in humanity) seem to have a tendency to label and categorize things. A good example for this could be music, there’s a certain genre of almost everything and it gets quite confusing with some of this “genres” of music, you can’t say a group does metal nowadays you just have to specify which kind of metal they do. The same thing happens with literature and cinema and almost every other thing in the world, even with clothes!! Who the hell invented the term Vintage for Pete’s sakes?!

You could see it as a way to differentiate yourself against the rest of the world, this way you can say that you’re a punk rocker who likes gothic novels and buy your clothes in second hand shops. That doesn’t make you different my friend; it makes you a part of a larger group. Because even when you think you’re some kind of renegade you have found a place where you fit in.

What irks me the most is when we feel the need to catalog people into different sex options. So nowadays it’s just like you have to state if you’re gay, lesbian, hetero or bisexual. I don’t understand love (or lust for the nonbelievers) like something that depends on the gender. I understand love as a feeling that someone stirs in you, whether it’s woman or man or the both of them at the same time. I believe you fall in love with the person, so as you can see I’m some kind of social outcast for thinking like that. Good girls marry good guys and have nice children (that’s a topic for another day).

My point is that I don’t want to be categorized as some kind of specimen in a museum, this is who I am. The girl that thinks of life in terms like “I love it or “I hate it”. The girl who’s not afraid o try different things just because she wants to (not because that would make her different or cool),tThe girl who has fallen in love with boys and girls and she even believes than people can be in love with to different people (providing they have a heart enough to love, mind you). But what I really am is the girl who is not afraid of letting go of the boundaries impossed by society when se deems it necessary. And I ask you this, why would you kill to defend your family k(nowing that killing is really something despicable) but will never try sex (best thing in the world) with someone your same sex? Maybe one day you'll find soemone who stirs that particualr emotion on you and then you'll remember my words. Until then, please don't judge the rest, and please stop referring people with their sex option. He's not gay, he's just himself!
What does that make me? Let me tell you, it makes me “Me” and I couldn’t be happier with myself.

Would you have the guts to love me? Would you have the guts to be yourself no matter what they think of you? Just know that since I'm maried we will have to make a mènage a trois?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Clair de Lune

Ok, I have so many things to say that I'm straining to choose a topic for today. I think I'm going to choose to talk about the impeding Holidays with just a little bit of mockery about the Copenhagen Summit and a huge admiration of yesterday’s performance of the National Cuban Ballet.
So bear with me while I walk you to the extremely hypocritical world of Christmas Eve’s supper.

Disclaimer: This work is just fictional and though you could think it’s based on real people it’s just coincidental. I don’t own the characters, I’m sure you have each one of those at your own home and you hate them just the same as I do. And though this has never happened before I’m sure as hell it could happen this year.

Christmas Eve, a house in a little town, our heroine makes a grand entrance well groomed and dressed, make up beautifully done, to that everyone is not paying any attention so intently that their brows are frowned in deep concentration.

-Okay, this is starting on the wrong foot, she thinks. How’s everyone doing?- she asks

(Silence)(Silence)(Silence)(Silence) (Silence) (Silence) (Silence) (Silence) (Silence)

It’s funny how can you hear a cricket in the middle of nowhere in the freezing cold of December.

So she gets seated beside the member of the family who loves her the most…. No, no, I’m sorry I was wrong, they seat her beside the sister-in-law who always love to say to her: “Are you alright? You seem tired” or my favorite one: “Have you put on some weight?” While the rest of the family scoffs at that. Meanwhile our heroine decides to take off her jacket, since the house is freezing to reveal a very nice but thin dress, while the rest of the family are wearing turtlenecks.

-Don’t you think you’re going to catch a cold with that dress of yours??? Someone asks. At this moment our heroine is already flushed in anger so she has stopped feeling cold.

That’s the moment when the food makes it’s appearance, and obviously the table is full of dead animals. So instead of eating she starts drinking (don’t try this at home on an empty stomach) cursing the moment when she decided that bringing something could be interpreted as her not liking her mother-in-law’s cooking.

Do you really need me to finish the story or would you like me to keep going. My point is almost 90% of the families decide that Xmas is the time of the year for leaving their differences aside. Let me tell you that in most of the cases the only thing they achieve is making their problems worse. Mixing booze and people who hate each other together is so not a good idea!

A piece of advice, if you’ve recently gone vegetarian/vegan bring something to the dinner (or Xmas lunch) unless you want to starve to death. I plan on doing it and damn my mother-in-law (she can’t cook a thing anyway).

Don’t try to impress them, they already hate you, the battle is lost. Their loss

Buy an ebook so you can surreptitiously read under the table while they’re intent on ignoring you. It will make them enormously mad to see that you don’t care if they talk to you or not, which will be extremely funny and rewarding to you.

And work harder this year, so next year you’ll have money enough to disappear on Holidays. While you’re at it choose a warmer country so you can go to the beach instead of freezing to death.

Finally, and if nothing of this works, just recite a poem (a very long one) in your head or try to remember every movement of Debussy’s Claire de Lune, so you can muffle the hurting words they’re spatting at you (for me it works wonders).

I hope I am of some assistance there, I live you with “Claire de Lune”


Clair de lune from musanim on Vimeo.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Raindrops And Sunshowers


Yesterday rummaging through a closet I found a notebook from ages ago with this little story writen on it, so today I'm going with some cheese fiition, I must have felt romantic the day I wrote this.

It’s raining. She always hated the rain but today for some reason she found herself listening to the sounds of raindrops falling on the pavement. She know she must look strange, in the middle of the park, soaking wet and trembling, but there’s no one around to see her . So she just cries. She remembers brighter days when life was clear and she knew which direction to take, those days are gone, everything changed the moment she choose. Choose between the love she had and the one she wanted, the one she couldn’t have.

Love is funny like this, you barely can choose who your heart longs for and normally it doesn’t go for the easy love. Her heart just has a tendency to choose the unrequited love, the tortured one. Sometimes she thinks she loves to suffer, that she is some kind of masochist, but the truth is that she is a really pure, she needs perfection in love she is not capable of committing to anything other, because she doesn’t want you to suffer, she doesn’t want you to feel wronged and that is why she left.
Thinking about this is not making her feel any better therefore she chooses to go home. Life is made by those little tiny choices you make, they lead you to different paths, she’s hopeful that for once one of her elections is going to give her the happiness she wants. She is starting to despair and musing about the wrongness of the path she has chosen.

In the corner she sees a black clad figure looking at her, amidst the rain and her own tears she can’t recognize the person, but the figure approaches slowly to her and opens an umbrella.
-I don’t want you to get sick. Let’s go home.

Just like that the sun is shining in her heart, it shines so bright that she’s blinded by her own exultation. It looks as though she has finally made the right choice and life couldn’t seem better.
It’s raining again, she loves it now. She likes to spend the day outdoors with her love, reminiscing the day when it all started. The road has been edgy but pleasant so far, decisions are always difficult to make, but sometimes you have to stand for what you believe. And when it’s love you can never loose.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Fade To Black


The first time you just want to feel numb, you're to young or naïve to understand what's happening, so you go to your mothers medicine cabinet and snatch some Valium. Of course you don't really want to kill yourself and you don't know anything about dosage but nonetheless you succed on spending a day sliping into unconciousness. It's really a sad moment when you realize that no one has noticed.

The next time is not on purpose, it's just that you have grown up and that you have find other ways to make you numb to the pain. You're not allowed to party as late as your friends but you do the most of it. You develop a tolerance for alcohol and drugs. So the day that you found yourself on the morning in the bathroom sleeping on your vomit, you just want to die even more because no one has noticed.

Then it starts, the lying, the cutting school to go smoking with your not-so-good friends, the going out with guys you don't even know, the belittling of your old friends. You fail at school, and just then they notice that something is wrong with you. But the truth is that he wants you home with him. You panic, you don't want to spend another year in the same house as him so you tell your Mom. She feigns ignorance, she acusses you of provoking him. You cry, you beg to be heard. She makes you the suitcase and sends you away. She will never be your Mom again, she never was.

They send you to a boarding school, a hideous school for people with money and no better thing to do than to sell drugs in class. You meet her, you think she is going to be your savior. She is so sweet and caring. Everything stops when she gets you, she is not who you thought she was, she is abussive and possessive. You loose faith in humanity. You fear that you are never going to find the person who will love you like in the fairytales. Every morning you take a look in the mirror and you see nothing, just a nuisance for everybody. You decide to end it, you're determined, you purchase a razor blade, you slit your wrists. But when you wake up it's hell again, you we're caught just in time. You leave her, but you'll always have the scars to remember.

As you grow up you understand that you can't get over it alone, you search help. You don't have the money to pay a proper shrink so you go to the social security, they give you tons of medicine and once a month therapy. You meet this guy and think everything is going to be perfect. You're oh, so wrong,and you think everything is your fault, that your horrible, that you're damaged. This time you have the means to do it, you're adult enough to understand the dosages. While you're dying you discover that you are just another innocent child who got trampled on, that nothing was your fault, that they were supposed to cherish you, to protect you. That you were just an easy prey for them. Suddenly you don't want to die, and you close your eyes wishing you coulñd just have another chance.

Next time you regain conciousness you're driven, no one is going to get in your way. Your going to get better and live because maybe someday you could help someone in your same position and just for that all of your story would be worth it. You finish your studies, you meet a nice man, you marry.He's really nice with you and you know that he loves you, you're in love. Life is not perfect but you're happy and that is all that matters. Life was never supposed to be perfect

Just this morning when you looked into the mirror you saw the ghost of your experience, you tried to swallow it down but the tears are to powerful and quick making their appereance. You understand that you'll have to live with this all your life. Then you ask yourself "God, why me?" inmediately you get the answer, there's no God and bad things happen to good people simply because no one notices, they dont want to notice. It easier living their lives and leave the rest to fend for themselves.

Next time you're in between crossroads remember my story. Life really is worth living. And remember to help those around you, it would have been so nice if someone had helped me.

Crash Love


I know it's been long, but lately my muses just abandoned me, and I was too depressed to even be bitter about anything. No,no, don't worry my moods swings just like that. I have good days and horrible days, I've learned to live like this and it's kind of fun, it has make me a really good actress, sometimes no one can discern wether I'm happy or sad. Ah! I really love to digress....

So lately I've been following this band I love. Well, it would be more appropiate to say ciber-following because they're in the States and they're not coming to Europe until Spring, and even when they come it's hard to say if I'm going to see them, you see I live in a country where music it's not that promoted, the only ones who come here are the really big sellers (like Beyonce, U2, Sprigsteen, etc.) and even then it's just like 2 shows (almost always Madrid and Barcelona). Thouhg this year I got to see Depeche Mode, which is a band that I love because I grew up listening to their music, in my own city (Valencia for those who don't know me) so I really shouldn't complain... But you know that this blog is mainly about complaining, so just humour me.

Well, it looks as though today there will be more digressing than usual, I have to make it up to you for many days of silence.

The band I was talking two paragraphs above is called A.F.I, If you don't know them go google them, I'm not in the mood to play teacher. This last September they edited their new album, it's called Crash Love. I really don't want to make another rewiev like the thousand I have read before, I just want to use the album as a means of reflecting in the society in which we are living (or should I say surviving?).

I'm really tired of reading interwievs in wich they ask them the same stupid questions about their frontman change of style, the newer direction from their previous releases and whatnots about their dietary choices.

The album is quite critical with the media based society in which we are living, this criticism reaches it's peak with songs like "It was mine". I'm really tired of switching on tv or reading magazines in which the only thing they do is gossip about singers, actors and actresses and other celebrities. I must admit that in most cases these pseudo-celebrities are the ones who show of in front of the media. You know what they say, let them speak about you and all this nonsense. Well, I couldn't disagree more it's better if they don't speak of you, above all if what they say is who you are fucking or which color is your underwear, I found it revolting.

We live in a society in which relationships seem to tend to end badly, it's like we choose the things that are wrong on purpose, there's seems to be an unconcious desire towards failure. We always want what we cannot have, and if we achieve to have it, we discover that we had it glorified and where set on destroying it. It's like we live in this dreamland where everything is perfect, but in a relathionship (meaning friendship, love) that's impossible, let's not forget we are people after all, not gods (I gave up on the concept of God a long time ago, just for your information). It's nicely shown in songs like "Darling I want to destroy you" and "To Shy To Scream".

I'm saving for the last my favorite "Sacrilege" the first time I listened to it I felt as I was listening to my own thoughts on the matter, if you read thi blog you now how I feel about governments and the lies they feed us to keep us on check, if not please go and read previous entries. I could debate about this for years but it looks that it has started snowing and we are at sea level so it's a small miracle, so I really think it would be nice finishing this entry and go outside.


It really is a great album, I think one of the bests they've made. I use to love them when they were more a punk band, but they've grown into it (and so do I), in now I'm enamored of their music but mostly of theyr lyrics. I think that by making an album like this they show the world that what they really care about is expressing themselves and doing what they love. That my friends is my idea of art, not doing what it's supposed to sell disc or books or paintings. I'm so tired of the Dan Browns of the world and the Madonnas (who just reinvent themselves to please the trends of the moment). Please let the world be more artistic just by being yourselves, don't be afraid to say what you think even if you're shunned after for it. It's not about being different or modern or having tatoos, it's about having the courage to think for yourself, and forget for a moment what the media is constantly bombarding you with. Decide, act.

I'm off to see the snow. Have a nice day and don't forget "We never can truly know who we are".

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Correction

This is going to be avery quick entry , because I'm stuck with the "Annual X-Mas window dressing" I hate with passion.

It seems I have to rectify some things about my previous entry. It seems that after the autopsy the M.E concluded that the death of the three year old child was an accident. She fell from a swing and slam her head. It would seem that the doctors upon receiving the child in the E.R didn't make the correct diagnostic and that too much time passed for the girl to survive. So instead of admiting that maybe the didn't make the correct choice while deciding which tests where necessary they did this cover up story about the child being abused by the stepfather, who was in charge of the child at the moment of the accident. The stepfather was arrested and has been declared now innocent. He's in the hospital because a psychiatrist has deemed him suicidal because he's not capable of overcoming the death of the little girl.
I would like to now what's going to happen to said doctors, I think it's a grave crime they've commited. Using something so grave as chils abuse to cover their malpractice seems surrealist to me. I hope they'll lose their licenses and spend some quality time in prison.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Family Tree


Today's a really sad day, I don't even have the courage to write today. Something in the news this morning took all my happiness, just like that, everything was sucked into a big black hole of despair.

You see, a child has died, a three year old baby girl. She was beaten an raped, she crashed three times and the fourth her heart just gave up. I think it's better this way, she doen't have to suffer anymore. Suffer a stepfather( her mother's boyfriend) that abused her and a mother whose willingness to believe her boyfrined and to discredit the doctors says a lot about her character. How can you say that the chid fell when there's evidence of anal and vaginal abuse? (I'm really sorry if I'm being crude but somethings just need to be said). And now what? The mother is not going to press charges and for the doctors it's going to be nearly impossible to prove that the father is the culprit, and anyways do you really think a three year old child belongs in the autopsy room?. Another innocent child has suffered at the hands of those who were supposed to protect her. Can't you see the drama here? Don't you feel like crying? Isn't this world horrible enough when you grow up that we feel the need to corrupt such innocence.

To make things even worse the next piece of news is just as disheartening as the first one.It looks as the Irish Catholic Church concealed with the approval of the Government the sexual abuse that their priests inflicted upon the childs in their diocese. This happened between 1975 and 2004. There are 46 priests charged. It seems to me that what the government did is just the famous "Don't ask, don't tell " policy.

Not even two seconds ago I discovered that a man form Atlanta has been charged with more than a hundred charges of sodomy and infantil abuse. It seems that this monster (I don't think we can call him a man) was a nurse and abused his patients while they were under the anesthesia. You can imagine the problem now to find the victims becuse they were unconcious.

I really don't like where this world is going, I was an abused child, I've suffered, I have cried tears of blood. I'm trying to forgive now because I think it makes you stronger. But one thing I'm sure of, I will never forget. And if it's in my hand to save even just one little child from living what I lived everything will be worth it.

Please, I beg you to not turn a blind eye on this. It's atrocius and we must be the ones to start the change. Just try and protect the innocent from the monsters, even if the monsters are they own parents. Don't be afraid to take action, it's better getting involved than repent later.

I leave you to your things now, for today is all I have to say. I'm mourning the death of innocence.

P.D.- The song today is from Megadeth.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Voice of God is Government


Nice song from Bad Religion for those of you who haven't heard it. Did I tell you already that I'm an atheist? No? Well, now you know it.

I want to apologise first and foremost because I'm going to chage the language of today's post. You see I have this friend (Mr. Cute Engineer, I'm sure you've heard of him before) that just yesterday was complainig that he couldn't comment on my blog because it was in English (though he reads it, funny no?), so today I'm going to make an exception and see if he comments when the blog is writen in Spanish, please bear with me just for today and I strongly encourage you to pick a dictionary and try and translate what I say.

Querido Rafa, llevo mucho tiempo dandole vueltas a una entrada sobre religion, se que es un tema muy polemico pero ahora con la reforma de la ley del aborto me siento mas obligada que nunca a hacerla.

En realidad, todos los que me conocen saben que mi vena atea no es algo pasajero, no entiendo como nadie puede creer en algo absolutamente intangible, es como si me diera ahora por decir que mi despertador me habla por las mañana y escribiera un libro sobre ello, quizas (con el suficiente marketing de por medio) en un futuro lejano se siguieran los preceptos de mi Despertador como una verdad absoluta e inmutable. Por lo pronto, si dijera que mi despertador me habla me internarian en un psiquiatrico (ahi va, se me habia olvidado que en este pais ya no hay ni psiquiatricos ni locos).

Hablare de la religion catolica (fijate que no lo pongo en mayusculas ni nada) que es la que, para mi desgracia, mas conozco.

Empecemos por lo que mas me gusta "Arrepientete de tus pecados y te seran perdonados". Vaya, que facil, yo voy por ahi matando gente, me arrepiento en el ultimo momento, me dan la extrema uncion esa y derechitos al cielo. Mola ¿No?.

Y que me dices de aquello de pon la otra mejilla; normal que haya mujeres maltratadas, si le enseñan eso desde pequeñitas encima pensaran que se merecen que les peguen y que denunciar al marido/novio es un atentando a la Biblia.

Y uno de los mas graciosos, ahora de repente el Diablo (este si que lo voy a poner en mayusculas que a mi personalmente me mola mas) ya no existe, bueno... Si tenemos en cuenta que toda la Biblia esta fundamentada en la interminable lucha entre el bien y el mal, si Dios encarna el bien ¿quien encarna ahora el mal?. Si ademas pensamos que el susodicho Lucifer (o como queramos llamarle) era un angel venido a menos... En fin, que me resulta un poco sospechoso. O te crees el cuento de hadas al completo o no te lo crees, no vale ir adaptandolo a nuestra conveniencia ¿no?. Que yo sepa Blancanieves sigue mordiendo la manzana.

Que me dices del telefono directo del Papa (que nombre mas gracioso) con Dios, se me antoja un poco como el de Gila. Mi Capitan que nos hemos quedado sin balas.

De lo de la concepcion vriginal de Jesucristo no voy a hablar porque la verdad es que el pobre Jose me da mucha pena, menos mal que siendo carpintero tendria herraminetas para rebajarse un poco los cuernecillos.

Dejando las gracias a un lado es muy triste que en pleno siglo XXI la gente siga sosteniendo unas creencias que a ojos vista estan desfasadas (¡Mira! como la Constitucion Española) y que enciman las utilicen para fundamentar comportamientos en muchos casos ofensivos con el projimo (que mira tu por donde va en contra de las enseñanzas de la Biblia).

Señores, si quieren ustedes que el aborto no sea libre, porque quitar una vida es un pecado universal , enseñenles a sus hijas a usar preservativos . Uff casi lo olvido, que eso tambien va en contra ed Dios, pero ¿me puede alguien señalar que pasaje de la Biblia hace referencia al tema? En fin, a mi tampoco me parece muy bien que las menores de edad puedan abortar sin el consentimiento de sus padres (corremos el riesgo de convertirlo en un metodo anticonceptivo) pero me parece peor que se obligue a una niña a tener un hijo que no desea (lo que convertira al niño en un desgraciado gran parte de su infancia). No voy a exponer el tema de las violacones porque creo que la mayoria de la gente (catolicos, budistas, arabes y pastafaristas) estaran de acuerdo conmigo en que obligar a alguien a tener la progenie de un desaprensivo asi es cuando menos cuestionable.

En este pais lo que hace falta es mas educacion, tal vez asi acabemos con los maltratos (porque si a mi un tio me pone la mano encima, cuando me levante del suelo tengo una carrera y un medio de alimentacion independiente del muy barbaro), los embarazos no deseados (porque se como se pone un condon y mi madre me ha acompañado al ginecologo para que me de algun metodo anticonceptivo para asegurame de no aumentar la poblacion del planeta) e incluso tal vez se acabe la falta de solidaridad que existe en este planeta. Nos gusta mucho quejarnos de los fundametalistas arabes pero me gustaria recordarles a muchos que estudien historia y que echen un vistazo a las Cruzadas, hace no mucho nuestra querida Iglesia era igual de barbara (y si no que se lo digan a esos moriscos expulsados a los que ahora les han reconocido la "njusticia").

Bueno, lamento mucho si he ofendido a alguien con mis creencias, o mejor dicho con mi falta de ellas, se que corro el riesgo de morir e ir al infierno y eso. Seguro que no hace mucho me hubieran quemado por hereje (y eso que no soy pelirroja). Pero este es mi blog y no me da la gana callarme las cosas que pienso. ¡Ala! He dicho.

P.D.- Que conste que no pongo acentos porque mi PC se ha declarado en huelga de acentuaci´´on (como podeis comprobar en esta palabra) y el ingeniero no esta aqui para arreglarmelo

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Girl you've got no faith in medicine


Instead of starting with my ranting I'm going to start with one of my favorites quotes from one of the best philosophers (at least in my humble opinion) François Marie Arouet aka Voltaire: “Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing”.

I was watching House yesterday, mid episode I realized that the show was getting predictable. The structure of every episode goes like this:

-Patient with a strange illnes arrives at House's service, mostly of the time House is forced to take the patient by Dr. Cuddy (or he take is the patient because some dark secret agenda, or just to spite someone).

-House's minions do a preliminar diagnostic. He disagrees but lets them treat the patient (maybe because he has no f**** idea what's wrong).

-The patient start to gets better, so while the doctors are in the room with him congratulating themselves for a job well done the patient starts to crash (this always happen, always).

-The doctors can't figure out what's wrong with the patient until House has some kind of epiphany, this happens 90% of the time while he's debating one of his stupid schemes with Dr. Wilson.

-He goes to the patient's room and in a very unpolite way he tells him, that he's a liar and that he's going to get better.

-Here you can find a slight deviation when in the first epiphany he really doesn't figure out what's wrong so he has a second one.

The writers rarely stray from this script, the show lacks more personal interrelations between the doctors, and when there's something interesting happenig not related to the brilliant and inteligent (and ass doctor) House they cut it off, heck they even cut it off when it's House related (this Huddy thing it's starting to get really old). So after six seasons everything is the same, last season it already happened to me to think that it was the last season that I watched that show but then like clockwork you have the excellent and shocking finale so you just can't avoid watching the upcoming season to see how it resolves, then 2 or 3 nice episodes and then mediocrity again.

At first it was fun seeing a doctor so irreverent and without any prejudice against saying what he was thinking, now it just seem to me that House is just a poor old man who, because of his own idiocy (I don't think we can call brilliant a man whose sole purpose in life is making his peers miserable), is alone and is bound to die alone. I'm beggining to hate show characters that are that rude, it gives people leverage to say what they want without thinking about the consequences. I defend sincerity but sometimes you just got to now when to shut your mouth.

And remember, it's never Lupus.

P.S.- Today's title song was provided by the faboulous The White Stripes

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

There Goes My Life


I'm not really into country music but last time I was in the States I listened to this song on the radio and yesterday it just popped into my mind. The song is from Kenny Chesney if you want to check it out, I must repeat that I don't really like it (that's more my husband thing) though the lyrics are related to the topic of today's entry so, here we go...

Yesterday I arrived late and somewhat exhausted at home after having spend all day at the shop (like 10 hours, and it seems today is going to be just the same). I went to my usual bussiness of putting my pj's and removing my makeup, then went into the kitchen and started fixing some supper for me and my husband. So I was setting the table when I decided to put some music on the tv, I switched channels till I got to the MTV channels (I have more than one since we have cable). I was passing trough spanish MTV when I saw this "thing" (maybe a better word would be abomination) called "Sixteen And Pregnant", so as you can guess it's a reality show and I think the title it's quite self-explanatory. Anyways I'm going to try and resume what this thing goes about just incase that you're having a slow morning and the neurons on your brain are incapable of working (maybe you're coffeine deprived or something). They're a bunch of teenage girsl, pregnat in the same house, in case you need more details just chek this page.

I think I may have watched like 2 minutes of the show, mainly because I was dumbfounded by the sight, and in this two minutes some girl was talking about how she told her parents that she was pregnant. In my haste to change the channel I bumped into the sofa I knocked over some glass and I even tripped over one of my dogs (who tends to be always on the middle).

I'd love to know who is the mastermind behind MTV's reality shows, they've done stupid shows before (From G's to gent, a double shot at love, Scream Queens...) but you have to be retarded to do a show about pregnat teenagers, now they all want to go to the show to gain some popularity and then parade in other tv shows. How in the hell did you get the idea to make publicity of a serious matter like teenage pregnancy. I think is sick and it's a good reminder of what this world is becoming.

Please don't let this be a trend and please use the money to teach in the schools sexual education instead of making abhorrent tv shows.

And for the record, I think that parents should be aware that their children are sexually active at early ages (just remember how you were at 16) and they should support educational politics about sex instead of critize them. They should encourage their childrem to talk about anything instead of shying away when the subject is brought. Sex is a nice thing if done correctly, if not the consequences could be catastrofic (i'm not only talking pregancies here).

My mother was not a good one, she never raised me and she choosed a husband over her own daughter, but she was always there when these questions needed answering and she saw me to a gynecologist when she couldn't answer some of them, I was only sixteen and she didn't freak out or anything. I wish more mums were like mine in these things.

Deal with it please, and don't make stupid shows.

Oh, this is unrelated to the post but, go and check the band "Them Crooked Vultures" they sound really nice.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Voyeur


I'm going with Blink 182 today, I think pretty much all the planet knows them so there's no need for any explanation, if you haven't heard that song or don't know the band I strongly recommend you to check them out.

I remember when voyeurism was a taboo. Maybe you've noticed the past tense; I've been noticing that there's a tendency in our society to expose ourselves, which leads us to the need of watching what others are doing, hence the voyeurism thing.

I'm quite sure it started with the invention of television but it's gotten worse since the increase of reality shows and the Internet, then you have the social networking like Facebook, Twitter, Friendster, etc. Neither will I condemn nor condone this kind of behaviour, it would be hypocritical of me since, as you already now, I have a blog and I'm pretty much hooked all day on twitter. What bothers me is the fact that some people have a really sick and wrong approach to this new way of communication. I guess I'll have to explain myself a little better if I want you to understand me.

Some people can be quite obssessive in their adorations , there are many examples to that (do you remember the Monica Seles incident) and now everyone can have access to almost every celebrity in the world, I know it's no a physic access but it's an access nonetheless. Maybe, if you're sick enough and you follow "Mr. X's" twitter, and youtube and myspace and blog page you're bound to think that you now a lot of their lives, you can identify yourself with him, you can even get obssessed with him because the amount of information is far bigger that the one you would get in any of the "traditional" ways, such as magazines or tv. It can happen that one of this sick individuals met their "Mr. X" at a movie premiere or at a concert or in a restaurant, and their going to feel as if they own him, because they now what they do in every days life, like where they get cofee or where they go to have their nails done. I think every one, assuming they're disturbed enough, is a potential stalker.

So if you're reading this and you're obssessed with some rock star or movie star or the girl who lives in front of your house, rememeber that you don't know a thing about who they really are. Knowing where they go to buy groceries doesn't give you the right to ask in the middle of the store for a picture of them. It would be great if we were able to respect the boundaries and the intimacy of everyone (celebrities included). We have to try to remember that when they're having their hair cut their not working so we have to let them alone.

I don't want this to be an apology for the defence of the celebrities (though I think it would be a good name for a non-profit organization), I just want you to remember that peeping is not a nice thing to do. Next time you feel elated because you're going to read some gossip about a "Mr. X" remember that it's comparable with a perv looking through your window to see your spouse or child getting ready for a shower. It's just plain sick.

If you love a movie star pay to see their movies instead of downloading them, if you think you are going to die every time you hear a song from your favorite band just go to their concerts, if you love a writer buy his/her books. But please, let them live alone.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

New Moon


There are only two possibilities, either you know what I'm going to talk about, or you live in a bunker under some mountain in the end of the world waiting for the catastrofic event that's going to end our civilization(I guess 2012 affected me a little, that and a story Mr. Cute Engineer told me about a guy who lives in our town).

Yesterday we went to the movies to see New Moon, which for some strange reason premiered first in Spain than in the rest of the world (I think Summit said some nonsense about Spanish fans being the best or something like that).

The first thing I want to admit is that I loved the books, which gets me some weird faces, people can't understand how it's possible that after reading things like Shakespeare or Poe I can like those books. In my defense I have to admit that I am a Romantic and sometimes it feels good to do some light reading (there's just so much Sartre you can read before your heads threatens to explode). Anyway, I liked the first movie, not because of the cast (I hated the tandem Pattinson-Stewart) but because of the photography, and it was exciting enough to find another series to follow when Harry Potter was so close to ending (because my friends I'm a collector, I promise to elaborate about that on another post).

I didn't have great expectations about this one mainly because of the director; I'm never going to forgive Chris Weitz for messing up "The Golden Compass". I really wasn't disappointed, the movie was mediocre at best. The vampires were whiter than ever, the actors made the lines sound even cheesier than the book and the worse part were the ohhhhs and ahhhhs from the audience , mainly composed by ladies around the twenties and thirties (since the movie started at 22:45 pm).

Special mention for the good work for the composer of the soundtrack, nice melodies that gave emotion when the interpretation of the actors failed and to the director of photography too.

I want to mention the transformation of Taylor Lautner, not only phisically but also professionaly, one of the best actors of the movie.

And finally, but not least important I want to say that the best actor of the whole thing was Michael Sheen in his short role as Aro (one of the Vulturis), I swear the more I see of him the more I like him.

In short, the film wasn't worth any Oscar's but at least it was entertaining (though my husband would probably tell you that it needed more action and gore). You really need to be a fan of the Twilight series to enjoy it. And the movie theater was full to the brim on a Wednesday night so I guess congratulations are in order to Summit because they have produced another blockbuster that's going to fill their pockets.

And now I'm going to retreat to dark corner to re-read The Vampire by Polidori because after yesterdays excess of young and pretty vampires I need to go back to the more gothic legends.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Sexism


Be careful when reading this entry, polemic subject on the way!

I was trying really hard to come up with a title for this entry but finally I succumbed to the obvious. The first thing I wan't to clarify is that I'm not a feminist, so if you are, please don't be offended by what I'm going to say, I'm just going to explain my point of view and no disrespect is intended. Then I want to explain the situation in my country, we are what's called a Democratic Monarchy, wich means we have a king and then a President. So in theory the King has all the military and legislative powers he just let's the elected Presidents and his Secretarys do the job. That's, very roughly, how the country is governed. Last election we re-elected Mr. Zapatero, and since my country has a reputation for being quite sexist he decided that it would be a good idea to establish what we call Ministerio de Igualdad (or Equal Opportunities Department). I think the idea is not a good one, I think the idea would be good if they did equal opportunities policy, but the only thing they're doing is discrimating men in. No, I'm not wrong, it's a fact that women have been discriminated through ages, now what we are doing is just the contrary. It really saddens me to see a woman being elected for a job purely because she is a woman and the company gets fiscal advantages because of that.
I'm a woman and I want to be recognized because of who I am and not because of the politics that my country is doing at the moment.
I know, I know you don't agree with me, I know the arguments you're going to give me. But how can you stand and see men being discriminated and be okay with it when you claim to have been discriminated for centuries.
My point is, since I tend to digress, discrimination is a bad thing wether it's directed against men, women, children, older people, animals or wathever. So it is positive discrimination, just by putting the word positive in front doesn't make the word magicallly nice.
Women are beaten but so are men, women get raped but so do men, men can be agressive but so can be women. We are human beings and even if you don't want to admit it, we have a penchant for cruelty and violence (just study a little history and you'll see), and it doesn't have to be sex related, ther are tons of women who behaved like monsters.
I don't want to be defended by my government against sexism, I want to be teached how to defend myself, I want poverty and analfabetism erased form the globe so women and men can know what rights they have, and maybe, just maybe they can know that they don't have to suffer being discriminated, because we are all the same, it doesn't matter the color of your skin, your sex, your religion, etc... I feel manipulated by governments that do this kind of equalitarian policy because they treat all the population like stupid sheeps. Spend you're money on better things.
I'm an intelligent and educated woman I wouldn't stand a husband who manhandled me, and that is not because of your policy but because of my education.
The feminist movement is getting obsolete,it was ok when the sufragette movement (aka sufragist) were trying to get the right to vote but now the only thing they do is encourage a vindictive movement against men, and say things like "Paint it black form the Rolling Stones is a sexist song"(I assure you I've found this aseveration on the internet) and stuff like that with no base at all.
In the world there's no right or wrong, and things are mostly a nice shade of grey. I'm really sorry if you felt discriminated in any way because some word or action,please grow up and remember that feeling discriminated is a feeling that you get and that has maybe to do with your self-esteem.
I'm a woman, I have a career and I never ever felt discriminated by anyone, and what's more important I'll never be. Because I'm strong and capable and I know what I deserve. And I love galant men who open doors for you, this is not discrimating is polite.
Bye!!!!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Yo Ho Ho (and a Bottle of Rum)


I really can't make up my mind around the fact that they still are pirates in the world. Ok, I want to make clear that you're not imagining Jack Sparrow, becuase that's not what I mean when I refer to a pirate.

There's this Spanish tuna boat that has been made hostage like a month ago in Somalian waters, I really don't know what are the demands of the pirates except for having two of their people (who are imprisoned in Spain) back, and of course the demand of money(modern Satan). What I really now is that they're threatening to kill the hostages. It seem that the Spanish government is in negotiations with said pirates but thy only thing that they have achieved so far is the liberation of three of the Spanish sailors. It seems that it is unnaceptable to return the two Somalians to their people and give them the money they want in exchange for our people (it seems that they don not want to negotiate with terrorist,Ouch! sorry I meant pirates).

Meanwhile the wives and mothers and sons of the sailors are home fearing that the only thing they're going to have when this ends is a nice coffin and the condolences of the President and the King (I'm ashamed to say that I live in a monarchy).

Today in the news they just informed of the latest events and then went on with the EMA's (Europe Music Awards) that took place yesterday night in Berlin (20 Years without the wall), because you see, Beyonce is far more important that the destiny of our people, DUH!

I'm thinking maybe we could borrow the Navy Seals now that our President is friends with Obama, but I'm afraid it's going to be the " we don't negotiate with terrorist" once again. Same old, same old. It's frustrating knowing that the only thing I can do is sit at home and pray for their liberation, since I'm an atheist that leaves me with nothing else to do.

Can somebody, please tell me where's justice in this!

Have a nice weekend guys!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Aeroplane


Less than five days ago I was on my seat in an aeroplane, waiting for the plane to take off and bring me home. I was so bored that I started reading the emergency instructions. It was nice that for once they were sticked in the seat before you so you didn't have to get the filthy and worn out flier.

Well as I was saying I was studying with intense attention the instructions when I realized that in case of an emergency I was just going to freak out and forget everything that I had read. So I don't see the point really in those instructions because in the end I'm so sure the flight attendants (is it that what they're called nowadays? because I would hate to be politically incorrect) would have to help almost 90% of the plane to get their air masks working.

That got me thinking the reason that airlines lose so much time in those security demonstrations on the plane; ok, don't misunderstand me I guess they're helpful, but I also think that human nature tends to take over in case of emergency and makes it really difficult to keep a clear mind and just follow the instructions (we aren't even able to following the instructions at the zoo so...).

Couldn't it be (here goes the big conspiration) that they just do it to avoid lawsuits and such. How lame it is that most of the things we do on a safety level are destined to avoid lawsuits. Next time you're in the train station or waiting for the subway look around and read the safety signs and remember this, they don't give a shit about you're safety, they are just trying to avoid being sued.

What I don't understand is how we have arrive to the point where I do something wrong, get hurt and then sue someone. We learn to exploit the system and to cheat inssurance companies and that's what we show to our childrens, they see that we condone this behavior and when they grow up they're going to be even worse.

You know, in case of emergency do whatever you want and then when hurt sue everyone.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Enjoy The Silence


I'm so tired it's not even funny, I just keep falling asleep in the strangest places which for me is a very unusual thing. This morning, as it is my habit, I was watching news while trying to enjoy my soy milk (more like trying not to fall asleep in my glass), when I realized that maybe the world would be better if all politicians just lost their voices mysteriously; for those who are fans of Joss Whedon you should be familiar with the concept, if not go check Hush (Buffy The Vampire Slayer, season 4th). The only difference between my concept and his is that I want them to be silent before saying any stupid thing.

You see, it seems my country is full of corrupt politicians (or leeches as I love to call them), what really kills me is that they have the nerve to try to defend themselves. Liars and thieves, that is what they are. And I'm sure it's the same in your countries, that's a really sad thought. It could be even worse on African countries, but that is something I'm not going to talk about 'cause you know, governments worlwide don't want to recognize problems in thirld world countries (insert big sarcasm in here).

They keep on promising big changes and a better world but the only thing they do is getting their pockets full (are the Bush family a good example for that?), it doesn't matter what ideology are they, or religion, or social background, you give them power and they loose their sucking little heads. Meanwhile I'm here trying to fend for myself, and pay my bills and be a productive memeber of society (another concept I don't fully understand) as I watch these mad dogmatics govern our entire race (okay, I stole that verse, thank you Mr. Marchand, you're a big inspiration for this blog).

So, even if it was just for today, I woul like them to shut up, and enjoy the silence, because I think some things are better left unsaid.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Speak In Tongues


So it goes like this, yesterday I learned form twitter that Placebo were doing an unplugged show for a radio station in france, it was going to be streamed live in their web page. I emailed the page to my husband in order for him to have everything ready so I could watch Brian Molko and pals when I arrived home.

My husband, who loves me very much (though he has strange ways to show it) had everything ready, when I opened the door I could hear the supporting act Expatriate (they do sound nice) playing and the supper was on the table (mushroom and onion quiche, mmmm!!!). So we were having a very nice evening, but this is not the point today. The point is that whilst I was changing into my pj's I heard something that mesmerized me. I heard Brian Molko speaking french (which is not strange at all since he was born in Belgium and studied in Luxembourg for some time). He really speaked very good french, and I started ranting about how inteligent he must be to know so many languages and to be able to speak them so well. Then I started digressing how I think in our country (Spain) childs aren't encouraged enough to learn languages, most of the kids aren't able to say a sentence in English. A few rants later I realize my husband is looking at me quite strange, so I stopped talking and ask him what was funny about what I was saying. Then he smiles and tells me: "Honey, you speak three languages" and proceeds to explain to me that it is really entertaining seeing me so fired up about things that I even forget who I am.
Well, this is who I am, the girl who can be hipnotized by something and speak with envy and admiration about a thing she can do as well. For I can speak three languages (Spanish, French and English), and that is the fact about me I'm most proud of because I love being able to comunicate with whoever I choose too, and I really believe that all the troubles in this world would end if we could just comunicate with one another. And how great it is traveling to other countries and being able to ask for a Coke?, and how marvelous it is that you're following this blog just because I can write (not so good) in English and you're able to understand it, eventhough one of us is not from England or USA?

So I'm really proud to say that I'm an intelligent person because I know how important is in this world being able to express your feeling and beliefs.

Although I'm now thinking that Mr. Ungrateful (my dear brother-in-law) is getting married tomorrow to Mrs. German Bitch, the wedding is to take place in Germany and I don't know a word in German, well at least I know how to count to eleven and I know how to order water so, Germany here I come, I hope you guys speak English!!!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Disordes and Dissaray


Alhtough I'm using a Rancid song today, I have to say that the post doesn't relate to it. It's just that it popped into my mind while I was thinking about my junk drawer. It's the place where I put all kinds of stuff, mostly stuff that's in my hands when I get home.

So I have a pack of tissues in my hand it goes into the drawer, the same with my ipod skins or the phone chargers, nds chargers, postals, letters, all of the bills (phone, electricity, water), pencils, pens, jewellery, I even found a sock once.

Every once in a while my husband and I clean all the mess (usually because we are trying to find sonething important), I swear to you is the funniest day of the month. Well, sometimes we just don't find what we're looking for because as you know every house is inhabited by little goblins whose only job is to make dissapear the things you need the most. What really spooks me is somethings just don't reappear.

So I was wondering if there's a spare closet, or a drawer in your house like mine. I think this could be a great thing to unite all humanity, I'm almost positive that leaving aside age differences, religions or countries everyone has one of these. I'm willing to postulate that the drawers are interconnected and what's lost in mine can be found in yours. Whichs gets me to the end of my post with a thought for you, How can we be always fighting if in the end of the day we are mostly the same? Forget the petty rivalries and next time you judge another culture or religion or another person for being "different" (I haven't already grasped what this concept means) just go to your spare closet and look at your mess and think that maybe the person you're judging has just one like yours.
I don't know if I have explained myself well, but for those who cannot grasp the intricacies of my mind just know that I find metaphors in the strangest places. Just keep reading me and you'll find more surrealistic ones.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Aspirin Damage


I'm going to be very brief today. I'll start telling you that todays song is from Alice Cooper and that I have a terrible headache (more like a migraine).

I have these migraines since I was very young, my husband says that it's my fault because I think too much (sometimes I have to agree with him). So you'll think that in 30 years they would have discovered something to cure me. No,no! I continue suffering these, what's worse is that I cannot take any kind of medication because they make me fall asleep and I have to work and drive and everything. So today is going to be a bad day and I'm going to be in a foul mood and it's really a shame because the sun shines, and it's really beautiful and the only thing I can think about is switching off the sun.

Vampire day today, the sun is really bad for me. See you tomorrow guys, I'm going to crawl back into my hole.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Can't buy me love


Today I shall not teach you, I guess anyone can recognize The Beatles song.

It all started when my mom gave birth to me, she never wanted me (she made a show of reminding me all my life) nor loved me. She sent me to live with my grandparents and come to collect me when she tought se had found a nice husband (that's a story for another time). When I came to live with them I quickly falled into their pace. For them you are the money you have. The more the money the better person you are. I was to young to realize that every time my mother made a mistake towards me in order to be forgiven she just went to the stores to buy me a present. The bigger the mistake, the bigger the present. It's been eleven years since I left home and we still play this game. It cost me years to realize that what I really wanted was an apology, and for that I continue to hate my mom.

All this has transpired into my actual life, my husband is currently unemployed, and that is affecting our lives because he thinks he is not enough man for me if he can't buy me presents. I don't want any presents, I just want love and friendship. I guess it's all my fault because my husband has learned from my family dinamics, I have always left my mum bribe me, because I tought that by accepting her gifts at least I had some kind of compensation for the hurt se subjected me to.

Wel I can see now that I was sorely mistaken, that all her gifts have made me a bitter woman. As I want to be happy again I'm going to say no the next time she gaves me a gift and ask for the apologies I deserve. Since I really want to be happy I'm going to tell my husband that I love him no matter what and that I don't need a man who supports me, I need one that loves me.
What I really want to say is that I finally see the evil ways of consumerism (you can call it capitalism too), I don't need things to be happy, I need friends and people. It's a nonsense working 10 hours a day just to have enough money to buy more expensive things so everyone can see how marvelous you are. Money doesn't define who we are, it's more important our integrity. If you have enough to live on why neglect your family to have more, don't you see that we are a really greedy society? Don't you see that this is going to bring us to extinction?

So mum, you can shove up you ass your fucking presents, I don't need them anymore. You can't bribe me anymore, it's not my fault if you're shallow, and it's not my fault if you weren't prepared to be a mom.

Ok, I feel better now.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Drive


And today song is brought to us by the always great Incubus (go and check them out, they're awesome).
So I'm going to tell you a story. A few days ago I received a call from a friend and when she started talking I knew, I just knew that she was going to tell me that she was pregnant. I was so happy for her because I knew her husband and her were really excited about being parents. I also was very proud because I was the first person she told, of course then I realized that since she knows I'm going to be the aunty Mrs. Bitter she might want to ingratiate herself with me in case she needed a nanny (I'm not putting myself down, that's just the way she is but I love her just like that).
It's official now, all my female friends are pregnant or about to deliver (even Mrs. German Bitch my future sister-in-law). I'm really happy for every one of them, what bugs me is that this gets me into the spotlight. You see, I'm 30 years old and my husband and I have decided to not have children. It's like announcing being vegetarian all over again, everyone wants an explanation. There are tons of them but what in the hell gives them the right to pose those questions to me.
This is what the post is about, about having the freedom to choose what we want to do with our lives. Whether it's having children, or studying or wanting to spend the day watching birds in the park.
People like to meddle in other peoples affairs, I can understand that (it does not mean I accept it), but it really is innocent until one of you decission strays from what it is socially acceptable. So life should go on like this, you are born, you grow up, you go to college, you meet a nice man (or woman), you get married, you have children and so on. Nobody asks you if you want to be a mother, you're just supposed to. And there's always your "lovely" (insert sarcasm here) mother-in-law who tells you that the instinct will come. Well I have to say that sometimes the instinct to kill her comes but I try to refrain myself (though maybe one day you shall see me in the news).
What I'm trying to defend here is that I (and that means you too) have the right to decide what I want to do, and you are nobody to demand any explanations, I will return the courtesy.
We just have to take the wheel of our lives and do what we really want to, this is the only way we can be happy. That means being courageous enough to stray from the path that they have laid for you. Not everyone wants to be a lawyer, and an engineer is no better than a maid in my eyes. What makes you a good person is who you are, not what you study, who you marry and how many children you have. What makes you a good person is being capable of doing an informed decission, carefully weighing the pros and cons (this makes you inteligent too, not your degree in politics).
So I don't want to have children, and I don't eat animals, I don't like to judge before I know someone and I hate when somebody wants to decide for me. If that means that in the eyes of the majority I'm a bad person then I'm really proud of it.
Would you dare being different from the rest? I dare you to at least try it, it really is fulfilling.
I hope you have a nice weekend.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Beauty


You may think that the title of this post is quite generic, I'm going to educate you a little. You know that most of the titles of this blog are songs or are related to the songs themselves (it depends on the day). Beauty is a song from a Swedish Hardcore punk band named Refused, like most of the bands that I love they broke up , some of them died (I will never forgive Kurt Cobain) and some of them... I am digressing again.
Onto the topic again, french fashion magazine Elle launched this campaign against photoshop and did this amazing photo shoot of several celebritys without any make up. I got to say that I love this kind of initiatives because I truly believe that beauty is in the inside (i know it sounds clichéd). What makes a good actress is not the size of her clothes or the amount of makeup she's wearing; what makes a good model is the way she behaves in front of a camera.
What scares me to death is that this is only a passing thing, tomorrow you will see the same actress or top model after losing 10 kg (I'm sorry I'm european just commit to the international sistem once and for all) just to get this role or that show. Because we are hypocrites, we truly want to be like them so we spend inordinate amounts of money in beauty treatments, clothes and trinkets to look different from what we are because the truth is we are scared to be alone, and since very little women are taught that the beautiful princess will be saved by her knight in shining armor.
Sometimes we forget that it is more important to have a nice smile than a nice purse, we are unable to see that the girl who's wearing a bigger size than you is also a human being that has the same fears and hopes than you. We can't seem to reconcile ourselves with the fact that having bigger breast is not going to solve all our problems. We assume that being beautiful makes us better than the rest.
We are mistaken, the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder (another cliché) it's in the person's acts. Be kind, be honest, be respectful with all living beings.
I'm not deluding myself, I'm the first that tries to look beautiful and I spent my half an hour every morning applying my make up and straightening my hair, I'm the one who loves going shopping. But I'm also the one who has fallen in love countless times and ignored the sex, the weight, the height. I only want people who loves for who I really am so I want to love you for who you are, even if your fat.
I'm not making an apology to slackness, it really is important to be a clean and respectful person, it will not do to go out in the world with filthy clothes and without having showered for two days, but is it really necessary to spend 3 hours every morning in the gym if you aren't a sporstman? ( Ok, i know there are people who need to be very fit for their work). Most people are just obssessed with their image, guess what? When you dies it all fades away.

P.S.- I don't know if I have mentioned that English is not my first language (hell, it is not even my second language) so please excuse me if in the heat of the moment I misspell something. And thak you if you're reading this.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

False Memory


Last night I arrived home at 2.00pm and I was very tired but I couldn't close my eyes, so I started counting books (yeah I know other people count sheeps but books are more fun if you have a library like mine), so it was the turn of Dean Koontz' books. I was trying to remember each book I own from him (titles and if they were paperback or hardback) when my memory stumbled in a title that got me thinking about mind control. If you haven't read the book I advise you to stop reading tough I'm not going to do spoilers per se when I start rambling about the topic I'm going to spoil it for you, anyway you're advised now do as you please.
I read the book like 7 seven years ago or so; the first thing that caught my attention is how easy the human being could be manipulated. How many people do you know that have a phobia that needs shrink treatment? Probably a ton, and how easy would be for said shrink if he were to hipnotize you to put some strange ideas in your mind? Well I guess I'm being pretty paranoid but just humour me.
And what about commercials, every time I see one on the tv it frustrates me to no end the impression I get that publicists think that human population is stupid, but don't this advertisings work for the majority of said population? Aren't they telling us what to do, were to eat, what to wear? Do they really believe I think the cows from the MacDonald commercial are happily gallivanting in the countryside before they serve it to us (that has nothing to do with me being a vegetarian).
As scary as it would be that my shrink (I really don't have one but for the sake of this argument I'm going to invent one), poked in my subconcious and ordered me to kill someone that would be an isolated incident, what it is really scary (at least in my point of view) is the manipulation that we are subjected by mass media, isn't it another kind of mind control?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Random musings


No song title today for this blog (unless some group that I don't know has a song titled random musings). But you can rest assured you're going to find a lot of randomness in here.
I'm going to try and explain what goes in my head this morning, since yesterday mi ipod (well, the one I have on my workplace) was on shuffle, so it kept regurgitating strange songs in the most inopportune moments. I think the peek of last week was when I was testing this old woman's eyes, suddenly I could hear very clear and very loud Pearl Jam's Spin The Black Circle, I swear the lady jumped from the seat an proceeded to look at me like I was an alien or a criminal (or maybe both). You see, since my work is kind of sanitary I have to look very mature and professional and confident, so they're used to see me in my uniform, with a perfect hairdo and some nice music in the background. It pains me to admit that I sucumb to the sistem every time I put music on the shop(I'm very ashamed to say that I even have Coldplay's discography in my ipod). I decided this morning to rebel, from now on I'm only playing the music that I love, and I don't mind if I shock the occasional octogenarian.
All of this is my roundabout way of saying that I hate that we still live in a society that likes to judge people by their appearance, the music they like, what they eat (it looks like being vegetarian/vegan is a crime of some sort) or who you associate with. Well, I'm done following the stupid rules of my archaic country. Tatoo parlor, here I come.
What's really depressing is that it took me 30 years to finally shake myself from my state of acceptance to this one of rebellion, I think I was to busy being thrown out of my mothers house and struggling to eat and to finish my studies and all.
I'm going to warn you, beware if you want to buy a pair of shades, glasses for reading or contact lenses if you come to Spain and you ever come into my shop be sure that you're going to hear some Heavy music.
To all of the bands that love to yell when they sing, thank you and keep on doing that nice job, to the ones that don't yell (or failed to do it in their last album, AFI you know I'm talking about you) I love you anyways, to music in general you make my day.
That's one of the many talents of music, it can make you revolt against the sistem!!!!!!

Monday, October 19, 2009

I'm not okay

I don't undestrand how is possible to catch a cold with the easiness that I do. Open a window in the vicinity and my nose is running, it doesn't matter how many vitamin suplements I take or how much I cover myself I always end up running a fever.
So today, I have a lot of work and I'm feeling under the weather, what's worse is that my cold isn't going to stop the salesman of the world or the customers and I have to put on my brave face and pretend that everything is fine when I really want to be in my bed sleeping.
When you work for others you can call in sick, but when it's your own bussiness you have to do little sacrifices like this, it would be more worth it if the customers wanted to buy, but they seem to just want to waste my time. It really is exasperating, I know there is a world recession and all but do you really think we give away glasses and contact lenses?
Anyway I think I'm going to say bye for the day since it is clear that I don't have anything interesting to say. See you tomorrow, I hopefully have my nerve cells working and then I could maybe tell you something worth reading.
BYE!!!!

Friday, October 16, 2009

The Book I Read


I was listening to the Talking Heads song in the car and I decided today I wanted to write about books.
One of my first memories (or at least the most cherished one) is of me learning to read, I was 4, and nobody at home could believe I was reading, they just tought I had memorized the book that my great-grandmother read me every night. So I went in search of the newspaper and started reading the headlines. Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at me dumbfounded.
So I guess this makes me a bookworm (and a very proud one!). Since then I read every day. I guess what I love is the magic of imagining other lives, other places. I love all kinds of books, so I hate it when peoplo tend to categorize them. Why can't I read a book if they say to me that it is for young adults or children or whatever.
My first horror book was Stephen Kings' Salem's Lot, I can vividly recall being reading underneath the blankets ( a little cliched, I know) with a flashlight because I had to finish it (and being to afraid to sleep for 2 days).
I have tons of books, I pretty much read everything that picks my attention, chick lit, the classics (Jane Austen, the Brönte sisters, shakespeare, Yeats, etc...); horrosr books, thrillers, science-fiction, everything!
Every book tells a different story, in wich you are the protagonist. For a moment you can forget all your worries and just have a good time.
Reading stimulates your vocabulary and makes you more discerning, it urges you to think about the world that surrounds you.
So please, next time you go to a library just spend some time browsing the shelves and buy something, I can assure it would be the best money spend in your life.
Read, if you do that instead of watching reality shows, maybe just maybe, you won't fall in the web of mass media and you'll think for yourself instead of repeating what they want you to. Be independent, be free.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Devil In The Details


Today I'm not going to complain about anything, I was considering talking about religions but I'm not in the mood for phylosophical debate today. I'm more into laughing about myself so I'm going to tell about the stupid things that I do every day that I'm sure makes everyone nervous.
So I like music very loud, like insanely loud, above all when I'm driving.
I have to be prefect before I leave home everyday, so when I go to bed the night before I spend half an hour thinking what I'm wearing the morrow.
I hate when people are unpolite (how difficult can it be saying "Good Morning"?).
I cannot stand the stains (in clothing or in other places) I have to clean them inmediately.
I hate when people read my magazines before I do (altough there are exceptions to that rule).
I have to learn every lyric of every band that I like, since I love music this can get pretty difficult (but I have to try, and then I get frustrated when I can remember them).
If I start reading a book which is part of a series I have to own all of them (really bad for my economy).
I'm obssessed with bags and shoes (again real bad for my economy).
I love cold weather ( tough everyone thinks is the contrary).
When I love something I can be very obsessive (I'm talking Harry Potter here).
And I'm sure there are tons of things that now I can't recall.
Are you just like me? Does it piss you off when someone does one of the things that you hate in front of you? In Spain we ahve a saying that translates roughly into "Doctors can't cure obsessions".
Have a nice day

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Try Walking In My Shoes

I think one of the most important problems that the world has to face nowadays is the need for instant gratification. At some point people stopped thinking about each other and started to care more about achieving their own goals.
I think this loss of empathy is really troubling; I know I'm going to sound like a Self-Help book but I think that a good philosophy of life would be "Treat people as you wish to be treated", at least is what I do. I try, before taking any decision to evaluate how my actions influence the people that surrounds me. I'm not saying that sometimes I fail to take the right (or less harmful) decission, but a least I weigh the options.
One of the causes of this selfish tendencies can be found on the internet, today with the net everything is inmediate, wether you want to hear a song, read a book or watch pictures of your favorite movie star. Since so many of us pass a big amount of time surfing the net it occurs that you get used to this feeling of immediateness. That translates into real life as frustration when you can't obtain whatever you're fixated on. So it is then when you would try anything to get your gratification and then you're so egoist you don't stop until you get what you want, no matter who gets in your way.
I guess if politicians tried this empathy thing once in while the world wouldn't be that f****ed up; but how ca we demand them to do things we are not able to do for ourselves?
So I leave you to meditate this, would empathy save our world? I'm pretty sure it would, what do you think about that?
So as Dave Gahan said in the song thah gives title to this post "Try walking in my shoes" and maybe, just maybe you'll understand what it is to feel like I do.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

R_E_S_P_E_C_T


After this little recess of work I was supposed to come back with renewed forces. But I really am exhausted. Life can be very trying sometimes and I need your advice in something; so I'm going to tell you what happened and if you readers leave your peace of advice I'll be very grateful.
I finally decided, after much consideration and years of stalling to go vegetarian, this caused me a lot of trouble with my friends and family, first my husband was horrified (he is as carnivore as a lion), then one friend told me to be careful with my health (as if I were anorexic instead of vegetarian or something), then my grandpa ask me if I were to live of thin air...
Anyway, this weekend, since we were having holiday we were supossed to go to lunch to my grandpa on Friday and to my mother-in-law on Sunday.
I was terrified because my grandpa is a very judgmental person (tough he is 84 years old and I think this comes with age) and all the way to his house I was imagining peaces of meat or fish disguised between the meal; nothing of that happened, he was very understanding and made me one of my favorite meals (vegetable paella).
And then the disaster occured, Sunday came and we went to my Mother-in-law. Every plate that was in the table was made with something I wouldn't eat, there was the tuna and the ham in the salad, the squid in the main course, etc.
When we went home I was flabbergasted with my in-laws, and my husband told me that I could not pretend that everyone changed their cooking for me, and if I didn't like that his mother cooked with meat next time I should stay at home. That was the moment when I dissintegrated, if the same thing had happende to him I would have killed my mother and defended him and proceed to storm the house in fury.
I just think that I deserve some respect, making something for lunch that I can't or won't eat it is not respecting me, it is scorning me and after all this years I don't think I deserve their scorn.
I'm goin to try to forget, but I can say to you that next time there is a meal at my husband's parents is going to be the same thing all over again, and why can't he support me for once?
I will like very much to hear your oppinions on the subject, what will you do in my place? do you think I'm overdoing it?Is it really that wrong to be different?