Decadence

My beauty will decay,

I will no longer matter to the young ones.

You’re nothing if you’re not beautiful.

My promises will decay,

Because time is fleeting

And words don’t mean anything.

My smile will decay,

Haunted by memories of a past

That was never left behind.

My innocence will decay,

Trampled on by passers by

Who always wanted something from me.

My love will decay,

Because I will learn to guard myself

From the heartless ones.

My creativity will decay,

I will never make anything of it,

The world shows no mercy.

But my soul, that will never decay,

It will stand fierce and unwavering.

Because this is who I really am,

And that I will never let go to waste.

She Walks in Beauty Like the Night

It’s been a few days since the last time I wrote, in those few days I had time to crash my car (don’t worry it was not that serious), turn 31 (Monday was my birthday), taking over the world and discovering AIDS vaccine. Well, maybe the last two things were done only in my mind or in my dreams; I’m not quite sure…

So the weather has been kind of bad lately, bad as in Snowing at sea level, raining quite a bit and today there’s this wind that seems intent in vanishing everyone who dares to walk on earth. It’s because of that that I found myself feeling a bit melancholic. Feeling like that for me equals feeling romantic which gets me to let my overactive imagination run free. But I guess that’s just me!!

Today I have a question for you, if you could choose a different Era to live which would it be?

I’m torn between the Regency Period and the world depicted in L.K. Hamilton books (have you never read one of Anita Blake stories?).

I’m an avid reader with a certain fondness for English Literature, so as you can imagine I have read all Jane Austen’s novels, I’m in love with the Brontë sisters. I had chills with The Mysteries of Udolpho and I have been enthralled with Keats verses. I could go on forever, Polidori, Sir Walter Scott, Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley,the great Charles Dickens… I just tell you this so the next statement comes as no surprise. I married my own Mr.Darcy with slight touches of a certain Colonel Brandon (my husband is loyal to no end). How I wish I could live in England in the regency period with those muslin dresses and going to those assembly’s, of course I would be poor and had to work to support my family but I would live a great love story that of course would end in tragedy (the only think I don’t like about Austen’s novels is that every thing works out in the end, I’m a sucker for tragedy, I so love to cry).

And what’s that to do with L.K.Hamilton, you’ll ask? Well, nothing really. It’s that, though I read almost everything that gets in my hands, I love fantasy and fiction novels. One day, in a Spanish web page, I stumbled upon a review from the first book for the Anita Blake series and now I’m stuck in it. How I love the sensuality in which the author depicts the relationships between humans and monsters. How I wish I would meet a Jean Claude, sly and cunning (if he was 9in Hogwarts he would be a Slytherin without any doubt) who would sweep me out of my feet for his own convenience and wouldn’t it be grand to be in a threesome with a werewolf?

So this is who I am the eternal dreamer, the one who gets lost in her books, does it seem you strange that I can’t go a day without reading (or listening music)? Do you find silly that I like to fantasize about the things I read (or listen)? Sometimes I think that instead of writing a blog I should be working on fanfiction, but that’s just not who I am. I prefer to let the rest write so I can concentrate on imagining.

I strongly encourage you to check any of those writers I have mentioned, You won’t be disappointed. Reading never disappoints.

Let it Snow

I was so sure that Global Warming was something the governments told us so we would not pry in other things, like money spend on wars or the salaries of the congressmen. Everything shattered this morning. I was finishing my make up (yeah! I know, it’s kind of frivolous but it’s what most women do before going to work) when I received a call from my husband, he told me to look outside. Well, I was really surprised to see that it was snowing, really snowing, the snow was even settling! This might not be the first time it has snowed in my country or in my region of the country but it’s pretty unusual. We live at sea level so for us is like snow in L.A for an American.

It’s evident that something is wrong with the weather, it’s like autumn and spring are disappearing and we’re left with hot-as-hell summers and cold –like- in- Siberia winters. I really I’m no scientist so I cannot make any kind of statement about the CO2 levels and such but I think is really important that we start to try and modify some of our behaviors that are endangering the world that surrounds us and in which we live in.

We shouldn’t be as arrogant as to think that nothing can destroy us because it seems to me we are doing a great job of ruining our own species by ourselves.

So yes, Mr. Cute Engineer, shoot me if you want to, from now on I’m a believer.

Simpathy for The Devil

If you could choose to be any monster, who would you be?

Would you be the vampire? Would you be the one who lurks in the shadows awaiting your chance to jump a stranger in a dark corner and suck him dry? Would you be the one who is condemned to live forever alone? Would you like to spend your days sleeping in some infectious hole just so the light can’t hurt you? Would you resist the passing of time while you remain the same?

Would you rather be the witch? The one who is prosecuted by every one just because her beliefs are different? The one who was born with this incredible powers, the powers she wants to use to help the people around her? The same people who shun her and force her to be vindictive and cruel.

Maybe you’ll like to be like the monster of Frankenstein? Made of pieces, ugly, disfigured. Causing the people either to laugh at your strange appearance or shuddering of fear. Would you appreciate being left behind by your maker when he understands the wrongness of playing god?

Some of you would prefer to be the zombie. The one who is awakened against their wishes, perpetually surrounded by the stench of your own flesh rotting, being possessed by a never ending hunger. Not being able to control your own mind.

So who would you like to be? Fell free to comment on your preferences, I find myself unable to choose because I find the existence of monsters quite depressing frankly, always in the sidelines being miserable, always the villains never the heroes. They’re surrounded by darkness and mysticism. Dark and tortured souls, like me, need them to remind ourselves that the ones who created them have even sicker imagination than us.

Long life to the monsters, may I never become one of them.

Brick by Boring Brick

Sometimes it feels like I’m stuck in my own personal dreamland. Whenever life treats me badly or I’m in a situation that causes me stress I slip into my own fairytale. You’ll be talking to me and I’ll be in another world full of magic. I’m pretty sure this is not normal but it’s the only way I can protect my mind from the abuses of the people that surround me.

It started when I was little, I was a single mom child, in a world were this was shunned, forbidden, a sin. The other children couldn’t (or wouldn´t) associate with me, so I started reading ferociously, and when I was at school or couldn’t read I just slipped in my own fairytale where curiously enough I was never the princess but always the charming prince rescuing damsels in distress or dogs and I would fly around the kingdom with my loyal golden dragon (because in my mind dragons are always beautiful creatures).

It only got worse when I grew up, when my stepfather started paying me attention the only way of escaping was my inner world. That was my mechanism of coping, the only way I could wake up every morning without being afraid to death of facing anyone at my home.

Now my life is good enough that I don’t need to retreat to my sanctuary, but sometimes I just fell like finding excuses to slip into my imaginary world, I’m not the prince now, I’m not the princess either. I’m just the witch, I think she is clearly underestimated and a force to be reckoned. I want to be the bad one in the story. What would a shrink said about that? I suppose I’m just tired of being the good girl, the one every one comes with their problems, the one who’s constantly walked upon, disregarded. I’d love to be selfish and look only for me and damn the rest. Most people I know are this way and they look happy enough (okay, okay; I know not to believe everything I see). I just want to be strong enough to fight for myself, instead I fight for others, it looks I’m still the prince, uh!?

I’m pretty sure now you think I’m a nut case. Well I never claimed to be completely sane.

Shame on you

Okay, I guess I should be wishing you a Happy New Year and all that crap this being my first post of the year and all. I just hope that you consider yourselves lucky for having the privilege of having spent the holidays with the ones you love.
I know of four Greenpeace activists that didn’t have the chance to spend the holidays with their families. And, for what? Just for crashing a party. So the ones who know me (my friends and family) know that I’m not one for public demonstrations of any kind, being that way makes me very critic with some of the actions of Greenpeace in the past, but this time their only crime was… Wait a minute! There was no crime they just crashed the Heads of State dinner with a banner that read “Politicians Talk, Leaders Act”. For this stunt they have been imprisoned till January the 7th without possibility of bail or trial.
If any one should be punished I guess it would have to be the security of the event, you really did a crappy job friends!
So that’s the state of things in the World, you are imprisoned for showing your ideals (even if you do it with the utmost respect), you get scanned and x-rayed in every airport possible (even if that’s not really legal), you get thrown into jail 48 hours just because police can do it and of course in some countries you get silenced forever if you utter a single word against the established government.
No wonder we have no respect for nature or animals, we can’t even respect other people’s points of view!
It’s been no fun talking about this subject, because I don’t see any solution, things are going to get worse unless we take some kind of action, and if we did it wouldn’t be nice to see. This my friends is the seeds for WWIII we’re planting, don’t say we were never warned.